Betsy took her kid to the pediatrician and contributed some stickers to the reward basket.
Whatever the fuck is going on in Nebraska, the rest of the resistance take note. There is a riot of ass-kicking betsies that are showing the rest of us how it’s done. If they can do it there, we can do it anywhere.
Yesterday, Nebraska State Senator Bill Kintner, whose many offenses include calling refugees insects, using the term “wetback” on the floor of the legislature, and working his dreary chaffed penis to dismal climax on camera in an international blackmail scheme, finally resigned from his position after unprecedented fucking blowback for a retweet of a photo of the women’s march claiming that some women are too ugly to rape. In his resignation presser he claimed that God had placed him in the legislature.
To celebrate his early departure, Nebraska betsies installed this glorious banner over downtown Lincoln. It says BILL KINTNER PREMATURELY EVACUATED.
Betsies elsewhere, take a page from this playbook!
More on Kintner: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/…/us-politician-bill-kintner-qu…/
The collective term for a group of Betsies is a “riot of Betsies.” And no one lives up to that term more than our Nebraska Betsies, who are quickly proving themselves to be the most fucking riotous in the fucking country.
The collective term for a fraternity of rape-advocating wannabe pussy-grabbers is a “scrotum of undateables.” On Saturday, a scrotum of undateables outside their pathetic nut sack of a frat house watched the passing Women’s March and, reeking of dirty gym socks and desperate semen, taunted the crowd with chants of “No means YES! No means YES!” The scrotum of undateables also chanted “Grab them by the pussy!” and asked women marchers if their “pussies were blue.” A Trump banner hung from their balcony.
The name of the fraternity is Phi Gamma Delta. They call themselves FIJI (Hahaha! Phi G! Get it, get it?!). One of their proudest fraternity alums is “Brother” Mike Pence.
Watch our first live on-camera interview wherein Betsy gives this two-bit Infowars wannabe cub reporter the 411.
Listen with glee as Betsy stymies her interviewer with her response to the question “Do you subscribe to the whole Love Trumps Hate mantra?”
Lastly, make sure to check out the comment from one “Glenn Zamarov” weighing in from his mom’s basement in Fapperville, New Jersey, whose only rejoinder to our awesomeness is “Misandrist cunts”.
We’ll be at #WomensMarch sites all over the country today with nasty signs and widow’s weeds — JOIN US!
[Here’s your BetsyRiot starter pack: https://www.dropbox.com/…/82sax9…/AAAF8opoylab8PxSYsZA-Poya… ]
Check this out. The Nebraska Capitol does not allow signs. So some Nebraska Betsies looked to their suffragist forebears and made APRONS to silently protest their tea-bagger governor Pete Ricketts, who has spent a personal fortune reinstating the death penalty and installing compliant senators in the state’s legislature. The Betsies were immediately kicked out of the press conference by the State Patrol, who insisted that the event was only open to people who had a press ID. However, the Governor’s own web site says that the event was open to the public.
So the Betsies stood outside his office for hours today under these fabulously inspiring murals depicting freedom of speech and suffrage rights. The governor tried to avoid them, and his security team, who had been watching the Betsies fretfully, finally squirreled him through a labyrinth of offices so he could exit the building with minimal exposure to those dangerous aprons. When the Betsies left the building on foot, they were followed for blocks by a state vehicle with tinted windows. The Nebraska Betsies tell us they will not be intimidated.
The aprons say:
KEEP YOUR ROSARIES OFF OUR OVARIES
DON’T BROWNBACK NEBRASKA
SAVE OUR UNICAM
We can see why the gentleman scurried off in fear.
We at Betsy Riot want to see more protests like this. Make them squirm, Betsies!
We want to let you know what Betsies around the country are doing today.
First, some background:
This is Brishell Jones. She was a lovely 16-year-old girl who should be turning 23 today. In 2010 she was being homeschooled and wanted to be a chef. She was treasured by her mother and father. On March 30 that year, she had gone to dinner with friends after the funeral of another kid who had been murdered. Afterward, as they were standing outside, Brishell and her friends were mowed down by an AK-47.
Behind this and every one of the millions of fucking American shootings over the years certain actors unfailingly make bank. The manufacturer who made the gun made a legal profit. The gun dealer who first sold the gun made a legal profit. The ammunition maker got his blood money and the retailers who stock the shelves got theirs. Big murder is big money, and that is why our laws allow girls like Brishell to be treated like disposable goods. Fuck that fucking shit. If you buy or sell guns you are feeding this fucked up bullshit and you can fucking go to hell.
So today Betsies around the U.S. are going to gun stores and gun-pushing retailers with the photos of Brishell’s autopsy that her mother wants the world to see. The Betsies are placing them strategically where guns and gun porn are sold so that FOR ONCE the fuckers who make money off this atrocity and the mindless gunlicking fuckwits who support them will face just a glimpse of the reality they have caused.
Did you see the Blaze’s interview with Texas Representative Snuggles McSweatervest we posted last night? In which Mssr. Sweatervest is moved to something like tears by outrage at Betsy and her Christmas cards? Well, another Betsy was so touched by the interview that she made this dramatic rendition of it for your enjoyment.
The original is here, in case you missed it: https://www.facebook.com/betsyriot/posts/1754298864896910
Though Christmas draws nigh, at Betsy Riot we are still giving thanks for the bountiful harvest of man-tears sown by Christmas cards that for once asked NRA bootlickers to see images of the damage guns do. Texas Representative Snuggles McSweatervest was SHOCKED! SHOCKED! that someone used a public directory to send him a card asking him to look at the actual consequences of his NRA rimjob legislation.
After Breitbart ran its piece on us, a reporter from the Daily Caller, the feeble spawn of Tucker Carlson’s autoerotic asphyxiation experiments with his bowtie, approached the Betsy Riot page about an interview, eventually producing this Pulitzer-worthy piece:
Yet when the reporter returned to his desk after lunch, something wasn’t sitting right with him, and it wasn’t just that undercooked meatball footlong. It was the DERANGED and ABSURD exchange he had suffered with one of our admins, and so he decided in his infinite wisdom to publish the interview in full here because he was feeling VERY PERSEKKKUTED.
(Enjoy such finely wrought prose as “Over two-thirds of every gun-related death is a suicide in any given year…”)
Ladies, get a load of this. The publication run by Il Douche’s chief neo-nazi strategist ran a story on little old *US* today. So even as the Electoral College was meeting to install the PGOTUS (Pussy Grabber of the United States), the biggest win for Russia since Sputnik, Breitbart was circulating our photo calling Dear Leader a TWAT. Thank you, Breitbart! Why did we deserve such attention? Because Christmas cards violate the safe spaces of religious right bible-thumping gunlicking NRA jizzstains who communally shit their pants when they are finally–FINALLY!–called out on the very unchristlike violence they promote with their depraved NRA agenda.