A Betsy received this missive from “Alliance Defending Freedom.” You may be tempted to think, “Why, yes, with a pussy-grabbing nazi turdcock in the White House, we shall, indeed, need to defend freedom!” Alas, it seems that Alliance Defending Freedom has different ideas. You see, they contend it’s the poor evangelicals who are under siege right now–from Planned Parenthood. So Betsy took out her correcting pen and made some suggestions for revision before mailing it back.
Greeting Cards for Gunwhore Legislators
Uh oh. It seems a Betsy sent 150 Missouri gunwhore legislators some greeting cards calling them out as the NRA-testicle-caressing fucktrumpets that they are, which has prompted an exquisite circlejerk manbaby cryfest across the Shoot-Me State. The best part? The lily-white virginal dears cannot BELIEVE that Betsy would have been so tasteless as to potentially expose their CHILDREN to the F-WORD. You know, the same children who can access daddy’s Glock under the bed during a playdate.
Betsy Went A’chalking
This is pure beauty! Some betsies took their chalk and visited a gunlicker fundraiser in San Diego. Predictably, the proud, brave “patriots” who want AR-15s in every home can’t tell the difference between chalk and spraypaint (oh, how we wish it had been spraypaint) and are absolutely SCANDALIZED that they have for once been called out for what they are.
John Lott is a Lying Sack of Shit
We hear from Nebraska Betsy that John Lott is positively torn up over being called out as a lying sack of shit during his recent visit to the Cornhusker state. Even better, his local disciples, always staunch defenders of Constitutional freedoms, believe Nebraska Betsy has gone beyond the protections of the First Amendment in holding signs at Lott’s NRA jizzfest. Nebraska Betsy will be sure to request the sweet nectar of gunlicker tears for her last meal.
John Lott’s Special Day
John Lott is the NRA’s charlatan. Lacking real research to support their fucking awful policies, they tirelessly enlist the bogus bullshit of John Lott, who fabricated at least one survey and has pretended to be two different women to support his own gunlicking research. One of these sockpuppets he admitted to: “Mary Rosh.” Last night Lott visited Lincoln, Nebraska, and left with a mouthful of Betsy.