Grab Gilead by the Balls

Senator Ted Cruz came to Austin, Texas, today, and Betsy was there to greet the steaming sack of shit. At first she joined with other Handmaids in protest, but then the 100+ degree temperatures began to make Betsy woozy, so she said to herself, “Fuck this, I’m grabbing Gilead by the balls.” She threw aside her red gown and bonnet and marched around downtown with her dirty pillows on full display to the supreme commanders. An added touch: she put a Betsy Riot sticker on her abdomen.



Betsy Parties in Austin!

These betsies were spotted at the Austin HONK! Festival. We hear the back of those sashes say something extremely impolite about Il Douche. If you’re in Austin, keep a lookout and you might score a Betsy Riot laptop sticker.