On the Isle of Man, population 88,000, these five women stood up and stood out against government mandated pregnancy.
If you are ready to be a Betsy drop us a line. You’re fighting for your autonomy, your democracy, your life, and your planet. Leave nice at the door.
betsyriot@gmail.com
Senator Ted Cruz came to Austin, Texas, today, and Betsy was there to greet the steaming sack of shit. At first she joined with other Handmaids in protest, but then the 100+ degree temperatures began to make Betsy woozy, so she said to herself, “Fuck this, I’m grabbing Gilead by the balls.” She threw aside her red gown and bonnet and marched around downtown with her dirty pillows on full display to the supreme commanders. An added touch: she put a Betsy Riot sticker on her abdomen.
The NCAA World’s Series of Men’s College Baseball is an annual event at the TD Ameritrade Center in Omaha. Two of the teams this year were LSU and Florida. Betsy was there.
Because both Louisiana and Florida have such stellar records in NRA-crafted gun laws that literally encourage gun violence (results don’t lie!); and because Rep. Steve Scalise, the badly injured Congressional baseball practice gunshot victim, has such a robust history of shilling for the NRA–the Nebraska betsies decided the NCAA World Series of Men’s College Baseball might be a good venue to offer helpful reminders about the way the NRA has fucked up our most beloved national pastime.
No, no–we don’t mean baseball. We mean breathing.
(PS: a female police officer showed up and questioned the Nebraska 
betsies. “We’re national, non-violence, punk patriots and neo-suffragettes! You can find us online!” the betsies told her. “Cool!” said the officer. And then she took a group photo for them.)
Betsy in Italy, spreading the gospel. Including Vatican City.
Never say that San Diego, California, Betsy isn’t spiritual. She went to church this weekend.
San Diego’s “City View” is a money-grubbing Hate-and-Homophobia Glory Hole posing as a Christian megachurch led by a jizz-drooling, repressed fuck face named Pastor Troy. Pastor Troy and his septic tank of faith decided to host a hate-mongering torture symposium that mocked the teachings of Christ and reveled in the various ways that you can make money tormenting young LGBTQ people who are struggling with their identities by telling them they are abnormal and unwanted by nature and should hate themselves, give money to a megachurch in thanks for that info, and maybe even become a sideshow attraction in the lucrative conversion therapy circus.
“Conversion therapy” is a hateful criminal enterprise that has been outlawed in California. But no one ever said you couldn’t still make money promoting the ideas behind it. And that’s what Pastor Troy and City View decided to do.
So San Diego Betsy decided to march down there, join the larger protest, and give those hate-worshipping charlatans and Christ mockers a piece of her fucking mind.
Hey, kids! It’s time for a singalong! Sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy! Ready?!
A one, and a two, and a–
https://www.facebook.com/betsyriot/videos/1863563833970412/
Wisconsin Betsy was having her carpet cleaned back at her apartment, and so with time on her hands, she ambled down to her local thrift store to while away the hours. There, something caused her to suddenly remember that tomorrow night, prime time TV’s Megyn Kelly was providing a national forum to–and thereby facilitating the normalization of–gunlicking psychopathic Sandy Hook hoaxer, deadbeat dad, racist, misogynist, fascist Apoplexy Foundation poster child, Trump advisor and human fecal implant Alex Jones.
Unfortunately–or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint–Betsy then discovered to her great surprise that she had a Sharpie in her hand!
And then she encountered Ducky Dynasty and Call of Duty tee shirts, and claptrap not just by Megan Kelly, but by Palin, Huckabee, and some ambiguously encrusted douche nozzle libertarian dude.
A word to promoters of Duck Dynasty swag: in the future, try not to design tee shirts that look like comic strip panels.
OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM BETSY RIOT
ON THE RECENT TRAGEDY AT THE FASCIST
GUNSTITUTIONAL GOP/NRA DEATHWHORE/
PIECES OF SHIT BASEBALL PRACTICE:
“Violence is never the answer. Our thoughts and
prayers go out to your sorry fucking asses.
Just kidding. You’re assholes.
Now here’s a photo of some Betsies treading on the
piss-colored symbol of the hateful anti-government
dogma you spew to gunlickers.”
xoxo Betsy Riot
PS: No, but seriously–violence is never the answer.
PPS: Telling you to go fuck yourself is.
PPPS: Getting shot hurts and is a bummer, we know.
PPPPS: It’s what we’ve been trying to tell you fucking douchebags.
Minnesota Betsy fine-tunes the message in her ongoing newspaper dispenser augmentation campaign.
N
ew Mexico governor Susana Martinez is a transphobic, homophobic, pro-woman enslaving, domestic abuse-loving, public education-destroying, public healthcare-denying, Texas oil money shill and fierce–if badly slurring– drunken pizza party advocate (Google her name, “pizza,” and “911” for a few laughs) whose legendary ineptitude, jaw-dropping pettiness, outrageous nepotism, and Kill-Gut-Then-Eat-the-Poor-From-Your-Privileged-Diamond-Encrusted-Dinner-Table fiscal beliefs have earned New Mexico the title of “Worst-Run State” for two consecutive years running. This shitstain Trumpite enriches herself and rewards her wealthy unqualified cronies and donors with state appointments, while gratuitously and cruelly denying even the simplest of human dignities to the vulnerable in what is historically a poor state.
And so the New Mexico Betsy Rioters decided to pay a night visit to their State Capitol in Sante Fe–aka “the Roundhouse”–and leave a special message for their corrupt, hateful and incompetent governor, complete with pizza-shape exclamation points and helpful suggestions on how to spend quality time with her mom.
(BTW, the “tejana” nickname is apparently a regional monicker in New Mexico emphasizing Martinez’s outsider Texas origins and her lack of commitment to New Mexico as anything other than a shitting place for her and her poor people-belching Texas oil buddies.)
