Betsy Heads to the Beach

by BetsyM Comment Closed

And what does New Jersey Betsy do after a hard day fucking shit up and telling fascists to go fuck themselves? Why, she kicks back and has fun at Morey’s Pier, a seaside amusement park in Wildwood, New Jersey, that’s what.

Betsy Parties in Austin!

by BetsyM Comment Closed

These betsies were spotted at the Austin HONK! Festival. We hear the back of those sashes say something extremely impolite about Il Douche. If you’re in Austin, keep a lookout and you might score a Betsy Riot laptop sticker.

Betsy Goes to the Zoo

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Nebraska’s deatheater governor Pete Ricketts, who has never met a pipeline or lethal injection he didn’t like nor a public resource he does not want to fuck back into the middle ages, was bafflingly invited to speak at a ceremony for a children’s zoo today. So some Nebraska Betsies decorated a couple hundred chairs at the venue for the occasion.

Steve King = National Disgrace

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Last week, rancid crotch cheese and self-proclaimed “champion for Western civilization,” Iowa Congressman Steve King, made news when, in the context of praising Dutch white supremacist candidate Geert Wilders, he tweeted: “We can’t restore our civilization with someone else’s babies.”

Though KKKing’s tweet shocked many across the nation, it shocked not at all the Iowa Betsies, who have been enduring this kind of racist filth since King was first elected. By their estimation, this had to have been the 1 million-gazillionth-fucktillionth racist discharge to be issued by the badly infected, suppurating buttock chancre that is King’s mouth.

Which, once they thought about it, was a milestone that the Iowa Betsies felt should be recognized. So off they went to Steve King’s hometown of Kiron, cutting a riotous swath of Fuckyouness across the Hawkeye State.

They tacked on a “truth in advertising” addendum to Kiron’s town sign. They declared King’s home a “National Disgrace Site” with a helpful directional sign pointing the way for tourists. And they planted an historic marker on Rep. King’s actual front lawn. …Just in time to swing by his church in Odebolt where they left a helpful reminder to his church’s Nazi-enabling parishioners that fascism, white supremacy, and gun idolatry make the Middle Eastern refugee they claim to worship very very sad.

And then it was home for milk and cookies. And the satisfaction of shit well fucked-up.

Here’s to you, Iowa Betsies! You make the heartland proud!

Betsy’s Banners

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Betsy, being a patriotic gal, celebrated President’s Day by hanging banners around the country to remind the thoughtful masses that they are not alone in finding SCROTUS to be a racist, misogynist wad of smegma unsuitable for the title. Resist this fascist regime, patriots!