Betsy Plays a Mean Game of Hide and Seek

This may be Betsy’s favorite action yet.

Imagine you are Nebraska’s Governor Pete Ricketts. After a hard legislative session, in which you bought seats in the legislature using your personal wealth and slashed funding to the elderly and disabled children, you go on a feel-good tour through the deep red part of the state, where the very people you fuck over every day will come out to heil you because you make them feel really special for being white even as their disabled kidsget no more services because of you and their elderly parents will have to be moved to a home six hours away.

You’ve learned to keep a low profile in the urban areas because you never know when Betsy will humiliate you over dinner or scare you with mean words on aprons outside your office. But McCook, Nebraska? McCook, population 7,000 and hours and hours from the nearest town big enough for a parking garage? You’ll be safe there, you think to yourself as you pull the wings off a butterfly for fun.

But wait, what’s this you see upon leaving your sausagewank? It’s the BETSY RIOT. In McCook, Nebraska, standing up to say FUCK FASCISM in smalltown Trump Country. She has found you, you piece of sadistic oligarch shit. Big Betsy is watching.

Betsy Goes to the Zoo

Nebraska’s deatheater governor Pete Ricketts, who has never met a pipeline or lethal injection he didn’t like nor a public resource he does not want to fuck back into the middle ages, was bafflingly invited to speak at a ceremony for a children’s zoo today. So some Nebraska Betsies decorated a couple hundred chairs at the venue for the occasion.

Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts Meets Betsy

Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts Meets Betsy

We just received this glorious photo of the recent Betsy Riot protest of Nebraska’s governor showing him talking about Jesus and American greatness right after he invested his personal fortune to reinstate the death penalty and sent officers off to blast Native Americans with water cannons. Fuck your fascism.

Betsy Visits the Nebraska State Capitol

Betsy Visits the Nebraska State Capitol

The governor of Nebraska, Pete Ricketts, is a Trumplicker who is hell-bent on executing people even when his own state legislature is against it and the federal government says he can’t import the drugs. Recently, even as he announced a state budget shortfall and cutbacks to education, he found the resources to send law enforcement officers to North Dakota to help quash the protest of DAPL there. So today a riot of betsies silently protested at his extremely Jesusy Christmas ceremony at the Nebraska state Capitol building. They were eventually ejected by police. The middle sign says “Trump is Putin’s puppet” in Russian.