Though Christmas draws nigh, at Betsy Riot we are still giving thanks for the bountiful harvest of man-tears sown by Christmas cards that for once asked NRA bootlickers to see images of the damage guns do. Texas Representative Snuggles McSweatervest was SHOCKED! SHOCKED! that someone used a public directory to send him a card asking him to look at the actual consequences of his NRA rimjob legislation.
After Breitbart ran its piece on us, a reporter from the Daily Caller, the feeble spawn of Tucker Carlson’s autoerotic asphyxiation experiments with his bowtie, approached the Betsy Riot page about an interview, eventually producing this Pulitzer-worthy piece:
Yet when the reporter returned to his desk after lunch, something wasn’t sitting right with him, and it wasn’t just that undercooked meatball footlong. It was the DERANGED and ABSURD exchange he had suffered with one of our admins, and so he decided in his infinite wisdom to publish the interview in full here because he was feeling VERY PERSEKKKUTED.
Ladies, get a load of this. The publication run by Il Douche’s chief neo-nazi strategist ran a story on little old *US* today. So even as the Electoral College was meeting to install the PGOTUS (Pussy Grabber of the United States), the biggest win for Russia since Sputnik, Breitbart was circulating our photo calling Dear Leader a TWAT. Thank you, Breitbart! Why did we deserve such attention? Because Christmas cards violate the safe spaces of religious right bible-thumping gunlicking NRA jizzstains who communally shit their pants when they are finally–FINALLY!–called out on the very unchristlike violence they promote with their depraved NRA agenda.
We just received this glorious photo of the recent Betsy Riot protest of Nebraska’s governor showing him talking about Jesus and American greatness right after he invested his personal fortune to reinstate the death penalty and sent officers off to blast Native Americans with water cannons. Fuck your fascism.
Betsies around the country are making flyers opposing the PGOTUS (Pussy Grabber of the United States). This one is in Washington. Get off your computer and do a little something to fuck up fascism today.
The governor of Nebraska, Pete Ricketts, is a Trumplicker who is hell-bent on executing people even when his own state legislature is against it and the federal government says he can’t import the drugs. Recently, even as he announced a state budget shortfall and cutbacks to education, he found the resources to send law enforcement officers to North Dakota to help quash the protest of DAPL there. So today a riot of betsies silently protested at his extremely Jesusy Christmas ceremony at the Nebraska state Capitol building. They were eventually ejected by police. The middle sign says “Trump is Putin’s puppet” in Russian.