Murder Stores

We at Betsy Riot think it would be a real crying shame and possibly in violation of local ordinances, depending on location, if people everywhere were to print out this pdf (link to full-sized 8/5″ x 11″ file here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/zh3uaztkwsw2i…/MURDER%20STORE.pdf…) and plaster it all over every fucking gun store in your respective towns. It would be even worse if you laminated them so they would last longer and built yourself a Betsy banger according to the easy-to-follow instructions here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88y-DdPlDF0) and whacked these things up high, making them difficult to remove. It would, in fact, be so tragically unfair that we are willing to bet that unlike the slaughter of 58 people at a concert, it might actually elicit a reaction from the gunlicking shitstains who pour guns into your community.

Don Bacon = NRAsswipe

Republican Congressman Don Bacon of Nebraska’s 2nd District is an NRAsswipe, and last night Betsy Riot popped by to tell him so. Here we have tastefully pixelated an artistic chode sketch because while you can use Facebook to plan your Nazi rallies and sell guns, if you show a cartoon dick you’ll get booted off. Unfortunately, Don Bacon IS a cartoon dick, so it makes our jobs just a little harder… like Don Bacon gets when Wayne LaPierre calls.

Love Letter from Betsy

US Senator Mitch “Murder Turtle” McConnell eats a diet of leafy green NRA money and shits it out on American democracy. The home of this SCOTUS-grabbing gun whore received a love letter from Betsy last night.

 

The Festering Moral Rot at the Core of America

The gun industry is the festering moral rot at the core of America. Gun culture is where racism, misogyny, xenophobia, the police state, and the worst excesses of unbridled capitalism intersect. That is why we at the Betsy Riot do not fuss with the particulars of this or that gun legislation and instead maintain the position FUCK YOUR GUNS and MELT THEM ALL. We want the total destruction of the firearms industry and we want the population and police disarmed. Melt them down.

We call on all betsies to ACT. If you call your representative do not ask them to please support or withdraw from this or that fucked up shit legislation. Tell them to MELT THE FUCKING GUNS. Tell them that we will no longer allow an industry to capitalize on ignorance, fear, and slaughter. Tell your GOP Congressman that he is a FESTERING PUDDLE OF BLOODY GUNLICKING HUMAN SHIT because Jesus H Christ that is exactly what he is and your feel-good high-roader liberal political group’s postcards and petitions do not mean a damned thing to him.

Show up at their offices and front lawns and use EVERY AVAILABLE NONVIOLENT METHOD to demand that these fucking deatheating assholes put the lives in their commmunities above blood money. Stick a sign in their front lawns announcing to their very lovely McMansion neighborhood that a diseased NRA anus lives in this house. STOP PUTTING COMFORT FIRST.

Betsy vs. Betsy

BETSY VS. BETSY

Oligarch Betsy DeVos, Secretary of Education Dismantlement, visited Lincoln, Nebraska last week to survey how the community is caring for its young riffraff. Unable to find a suitable workhouse where the urchins could be put to a profitable task such as picking oakum or pasting labels on Amway bottles, she was forced to dismount from her carriage at one of the city’s public schools, this one with a focus on something called “science,” which Mme DeVos knows must be trampled out if we are to properly train young workers to serve God and Koch.

The Betsy Riot, feeling rather contrary to Mme DeVos’s designs to fuck up the bedrock of a healthy democracy and also not particularly caring for her awful positions on LGBTQIA youth, special needs kids, and sexual assault, stood in the blistering heat to protest the oligarch’s presence, which they suspect was timed to coincide with their oligarch governor’s efforts to establish charter schools in the state. The Betsies were joined by hundreds of other Lincoln residents who value their children and their fine schools more than kleptocracy, one of whom stopped to get a photo (shared here) with the Betsies.

White Nationalist Assholes

These California Betsies live in California’s 50th congressional district, an otherwise lovely place marred by shitstreak Congressman Duncan Hunter and the white nationalist assholes who voted him in. Hunter hates young immigrants who are productive members of society about as much as he hates people being able to go to the doctor. At the same time, Hunter is a big fan of the NRA and, according to the Office of Congressional Ethics, may enjoy dipping into his campaign donations to buy his family jewelry, groceries, and medical bills… you know, because who needs affordable healthcare when you have a campaign pot to dip into? So California Betsies visited Hunter’s office and called him out for the polyped rectum that he is.

 

Kentucky Handmaids

Kentucky governor Matt Bevin–an aspiring forced pregnancy farmer who dreams of industrialized birthing warehouses packed with impregnated 12 year old girls who’ve been raped (an enterprise that he plans to underwrite with profits from his used coat hanger business) has gone on the official record as wanting to rid the state of any and all women’s healthcare clinics that might interfere with his woman-enslaving dream by providing the women of Kentucky with their constitutionally protected right to abortion.

Now there’s just one women’s clinic remaining in the state that provides abortions, and drooling, depraved sick fuck Matt Bevin smells victory in the air!–or maybe its just the skanky scent of blister ooze generated from excessive chode-jerking at the idea of enslaving women and owning their pussies. Who knows? Maybe he should hold his cracked, bleeding, overly-yanked pee-pee up to state inspector general Robert Silverthorn’s face and ask him what he thinks it smells like. You know–other than Bevin’s mother’s undies.

Not so fast there, you pulpy, unwashed fart muscles! EMW Women’s Clinic, Kentucky’s last abortion provider, along with Planned Parenthood and the ACLU, would like a word with you. In court. In federal fucking court. Because they’re suing your misogynistic, chode yanking-and-sniffing selves.

It seems that the state has been constantly and maliciously changing its regulatory rules for EMW in the hope of tripping it up, finding it in violation, and closing it down. Chodemeister Bevin and his prison bitch Silverthorn claim it’s all because they love women so much, they want to ensure their health is rigorously protected with nothing but the finest inefficient bullshit that bureaucracy can offer.

EMW, PP, and ACLU beg to differ.

And the Kentucky Betsies were there in Handmaid’s garb standing in silent vigil, bearing witness.

The KY Bets were last seen in their Handmaid garb this summer, at the woman-hating, fetusfetishalooza put on by the Christianity-debasing, pussy-obsessed, forced-birth fanatics Operation Save America.

Way to go, Kentucky Betsies!