How To Be a Betsy – Chapter 5

Part 5 of the instructional video series “How to Be a Betsy”, a Betsy Riot production.

In this episode: we learn how to create a homemade Betsy Banger tool for stapling “bandit signs” high up on telephone poles out of the reach of the angry, pundenda-scented, groping little hands of gunlicker Trumpizoids who might be compelled to rip them down in man-tearful, outraged hissyfits. All of the materials can be purchased at your local home improvement retail store–like, um, 84 Lumber, should one be near you.

NOTE: Bandit signs are more typically used by fast-buck real estate agents to exploit poor people. As such, they are considered a public nuisance by many communities. Be conscious of the laws in your area. Penalties vary. But so does the give-a-shit factor of code enforcers.

Bill Kintner Prematurely Evacuated

Bill Kintner Prematurely Evacuated

Whatever the fuck is going on in Nebraska, the rest of the resistance take note. There is a riot of ass-kicking betsies that are showing the rest of us how it’s done. If they can do it there, we can do it anywhere.

Yesterday, Nebraska State Senator Bill Kintner, whose many offenses include calling refugees insects, using the term “wetback” on the floor of the legislature, and working his dreary chaffed penis to dismal climax on camera in an international blackmail scheme, finally resigned from his position after unprecedented fucking blowback for a retweet of a photo of the women’s march claiming that some women are too ugly to rape. In his resignation presser he claimed that God had placed him in the legislature.

To celebrate his early departure, Nebraska betsies installed this glorious banner over downtown Lincoln. It says BILL KINTNER PREMATURELY EVACUATED.

Betsies elsewhere, take a page from this playbook!

More on Kintner:…/us-politician-bill-kintner-qu…/

Scrotum of Undateables

Scrotum of Undateables

The collective term for a group of Betsies is a “riot of Betsies.” And no one lives up to that term more than our Nebraska Betsies, who are quickly proving themselves to be the most fucking riotous in the fucking country.

The collective term for a fraternity of rape-advocating wannabe pussy-grabbers is a “scrotum of undateables.” On Saturday, a scrotum of undateables outside their pathetic nut sack of a frat house watched the passing Women’s March and, reeking of dirty gym socks and desperate semen, taunted the crowd with chants of “No means YES! No means YES!” The scrotum of undateables also chanted “Grab them by the pussy!” and asked women marchers if their “pussies were blue.” A Trump banner hung from their balcony.

The name of the fraternity is Phi Gamma Delta. They call themselves FIJI (Hahaha! Phi G! Get it, get it?!). One of their proudest fraternity alums is “Brother” Mike Pence.

So it was that a riot of Betsies paid the scrotum of undateables a visit under cloak of night. And here is what the boys woke up to:

Call To Action

Call To Action

Yesterday was MLK Day and in a few days this country is swearing in a literal fucking fascist president with a white supremacist cabinet. Are you ready to start fucking this shit up? Are you ready to be a betsy?

We are calling on YOU to do any number of the following this week.

1. MARCH. Wear all black. Get black veiling from the craft store to cover your face. Walk with Betsy signs in your local women’s march. If you live in a red state, this is extremely powerful. Let them know Betsy is in town. Make your own Betsy signs or print some from here:…/kt1emp…/AAARDpwsW3u1JYhnBFva6X0Sa…

Our only requirement is that your signs are absolutely not fucking nice. None of this highroad bullshit. Call that fascist out for what he is.

2. HANG A BANNER. Make a banner using a cheap shower curtain and duct tape and hang it with zip ties in your city. Be rude. Be a resister. Also, be sure not to endanger drivers. We have a how-to video here:…

3. FLYER THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR TOWN, PREFERABLY WITH A BETSYBANGER. We have printable signs galore. Print them out and put them everywhere. Even better: make yourself a Betsy banger and whack them on telephone poles. If you laminate them they may last longer than Il Douche’s fascist regime. Remember that this is possibly illegal so be sure you are careful.

How to make a Betsy Banger here:…

Then send us photos, videos, etc.! Get out there and save our country, betsies.

For Brishell

For Brishell

We want to let you know what Betsies around the country are doing today.

First, some background:

This is Brishell Jones. She was a lovely 16-year-old girl who should be turning 23 today. In 2010 she was being homeschooled and wanted to be a chef. She was treasured by her mother and father. On March 30 that year, she had gone to dinner with friends after the funeral of another kid who had been murdered. Afterward, as they were standing outside, Brishell and her friends were mowed down by an AK-47.

Behind this and every one of the millions of fucking American shootings over the years certain actors unfailingly make bank. The manufacturer who made the gun made a legal profit. The gun dealer who first sold the gun made a legal profit. The ammunition maker got his blood money and the retailers who stock the shelves got theirs. Big murder is big money, and that is why our laws allow girls like Brishell to be treated like disposable goods. Fuck that fucking shit. If you buy or sell guns you are feeding this fucked up bullshit and you can fucking go to hell.

So today Betsies around the U.S. are going to gun stores and gun-pushing retailers with the photos of Brishell’s autopsy that her mother wants the world to see. The Betsies are placing them strategically where guns and gun porn are sold so that FOR ONCE the fuckers who make money off this atrocity and the mindless gunlicking fuckwits who support them will face just a glimpse of the reality they have caused.