The Great San Diego Betsy Riot Dick Drop

by Betsy Wyzomirski Comment Closed

 

The San Diego betsies discovered that in the wonderful world of the Internet, a neo-suffragette punk patriot who likes to fuck shit up could easily purchase–at a surprisingly reasonable cost!–a giant inflatable dick.

Ever in search of new and exciting messaging formats with which to fight fascism and tell the death-eating blood merchants of  the NRA to go fuck themselves, the San Diego betsies purchased one.  Then they decorated it with a special message to their best girlfriend forever—-the hack NRA podcaster, remaindered bin authoress and gunhumper jerk-off model Dana “Kill Them ALL!” Loesch, a psychopathic woman-hating cool girl gun-quim who recently made a promotional NRA video encouraging gibbering, gun-licking, monkey putz-pullers to put down her Guns & Ammo centerfold, pull up their not-so-ambiguously stained whitie-tighties and cammo pants, pick up their guns, remember just how terrifying and dick-wilting women who tell you to fuck off are, then go shoot a few Women’s Marchers, who today made a pilgrimage through the sweltering heat from the NRA headquarters to the Justice Department in Washington, D.C.

Because: AHHHHHHH!!!  WOMEN WHO TELL ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF!!!  GYAHHHHHHH!!!!

And so it was that the San Diego betsies took their inflatable dick with their message to Dana Loesch and  did a late-night dick drop at their local gun range.

Because fuck you, gunfucking psychopaths who hate women.  And that includes you, Dana.

 

 

 

 

Don Young = Cankered Penis

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Don Young is a cankered penis who has been fucking his home state of Alaska in Congress since 1973. Besides holding predictable positions on government enforced pregnancy and the assignation of thousands of his constituents to death by medical neglect and penury, this fetid chode actively wants to open up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to permanent fucking by the oil industry. You know, because #prolife. So Alaska Betsy has taken to improving this cheese-dribbler’s campaign signs and encourages fellow residents of the Last Frontier to keep a marker handy and add their own improvements.

Campus Carry in Kansas

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Today is the day that the law allowing unregulated concealed carry at Kansas colleges and universities goes into effect. Students and anyone else may now legally carry loaded handguns into classrooms with no training or licensing–not that training or licensing would even make that flaming horseshit okay.

Campus carry is fundamentally about two things. 1) It expands the gun market by removing that pesky four-year no-guns period between having rifles at your parents’ house and having rifles at your own house, which keeps little gunlicker chodes loyal lifelong customers even while away from home. 2) It allows feculent red state shitbag legislators to make over oases of liberality and learning into the benighted feudal cesspools where they feel comfortable.

So today Kansas betsies protested the NRA fucking over their campuses with some beautiful signage and a helpful note on the doorstep of the chancellor of the KU system, reminding her that she rolled over for this bullshit.

We Tried to Warn You

by BetsyM Comment Closed

OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM BETSY RIOT
ON THE RECENT TRAGEDY AT THE FASCIST
GUNSTITUTIONAL GOP/NRA DEATHWHORE/
PIECES OF SHIT BASEBALL PRACTICE:

“Violence is never the answer. Our thoughts and
prayers go out to your sorry fucking asses.

Just kidding. You’re assholes.

Now here’s a photo of some Betsies treading on the
piss-colored symbol of the hateful anti-government
dogma you spew to gunlickers.”

xoxo Betsy Riot

PS: No, but seriously–violence is never the answer.

PPS: Telling you to go fuck yourself is.

PPPS: Getting shot hurts and is a bummer, we know.

PPPPS: It’s what we’ve been trying to tell you fucking douchebags.

Piss on Yer Guns – The Second Installment

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Attention, Betsy USA! A particularly diabolical betsy in Texas has devised a DELICIOUS plan for pranking the gun lobby and harvesting gallons of refreshing gunlicker man tears. Totally nonviolent (of course) and 100% legal (unlike the things Wayne LaPierre does with his mom). She has designed and is selling this beautiful “piss on yer guns” line of products to fund the plan. Please throw some cash in her direction and sit tight–if she gets the money she needs (where is George Soros when you need him?) we will be spreading the fruits of her labor far and wide. Any funds raised in excess will go toward other Betsy actions.

We love this pride version, especially as the anniversary of Orlando Pulse approaches and our shitwit Congress enjoyed another year of NRA kickback, but a regular black and white version is also available (posted in comments below).

https://teespring.com/new-piss-on-yer-guns-2…

Betsy Goes to Murder Prom

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Every year hundreds of gunlicking death fetishists come together (pun intended) at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration at San Diego’s Hotel del Coronado. We imagine the patriots in attendance have an unspoken “what happens at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration stays at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration” agreement with their mildewed blow-up dolls, resulting in a weekend of orgiastic ecstasy as they fondle OPP (Other Patriots’ Pistols) and slobber over products designed to help them kill people. The gallery hall is full of This grotesque jizzfest of toxic masculinity and homicide worship that it is known locally as MURDER PROM.

San Diego Betsy was not invited to Murder Prom, but that didn’t stop her from dropping by.

Fuck the NRA

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Kansas Betsies baked a special cake to commemorate the wholesale selling of their state to the murder lobby by Gov. Sam “Bloody Hands” Brownback and the simpering, gutless higher ed administrators who cravenly decreed that the permitless carry of guns will now be allowed at all colleges and universities starting this summer.

Betsy Goes to Murder-Con

by BetsyM Comment Closed

In late April of 2017, a pussy-grabbing fascist megalomaniac traveled to Atlanta, Georgia, to speak to the brownshirts at the NRA Annual Meeting, that organization having gotten the piece of shit elected leader of the Free World™ (with a little help from their mutual friends in Moscow) and finally calling in a little reacharound.

Hundreds of shartsnuffling chodes wandered the grounds in their NRA lanyards, wrists sore from all the barrel-stroking, when what to their douchey besunglassed eyes did appear but Betsy buzzing from far and from near.

This is her story–set to “The March of the Women,” a 1910 suffragette anthem by Ethel Smyth and Cicely Hamilton.