Betsy Visits the Murder Turtle, Again

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Oh, dear. Sigh. The Kentucky Betsies visited Sen. Mitch “Murder Turtle” McConnell’s house in Louisville AGAIN and left more than a few signs for him. Why so many? We can only assume it’s because Mitch debases democracy in so many areas you can’t fit them all on one poster–from Chris Cox-sucking the blood money-jizzing death dick of the NRA, to proclaiming himself the wise Poindexter overlord of all women’s bodies as well as the beknickered Fauntleroy executioner to millions of sick and vulnerable and poor by diligently working to destroy the Affordable Care Act and Medicare.

And though there is no lawn sign for this offense, we would add to the list, proclaiming himself nebbishy supreme ruler of the country and the magical Dungeons-and-Dragons manifestation of all the country’s founders rolled into one by shitting on the Constitution and refusing to hold hearings for a two-time democratically elected president’s Supreme Court nominee. Though arguably, that’s what the “You Just Fucking Suck” sign was likely about. An “etc.” to cover the rest of the list.

Mitch McConnell has a reputation for being a “smart” legislator, but that’s mostly because people feel bad about his nerdy physical appearance and they want to say something nice. The truth is, he has demonstrated no competence or skill whatsoever at passing legislation–only a staggering capacity to destroy and obstruct the work of others.

The facts are: Mitch is a fraud. He looks like a turtle. And he is full of shit.

Which may be the reason that the small paper mache likeness of Mitch, which the Betsies also left on his lawn, was frankly kinda heavy to carry, to hear them tell it. And it smelled, we are told, like a Saint Bernard’s dingleberry encrusted ass–as though someone had perversedly saved up an entire week’s worth of their dog’s bowel movements and then spooned it into a hole in the bottom of the paper mache to create a fecal lawn piñata. That looked like a turtle. Or Mitch McConnell. As the case may be.

Or so we’re told. We weren’t there.

Had we been there we would have most certainly admonished those bad, bad Betsies.

Really!–what are we to do with them?

Justice for Cobo

by BetsyM Comment Closed

This week when Louisville KY police responded to a call, Corey Boykin, aka Cobo, opened the door. The police did not identify themselves or ask him to put his hands up, instead opening fire immediately and without warning. A Betsy dropped this banner this morning. The American gun industry profits off of every gun, every shooting, and the militarization of the police. Melt the guns.

Kentucky Handmaids

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Kentucky governor Matt Bevin–an aspiring forced pregnancy farmer who dreams of industrialized birthing warehouses packed with impregnated 12 year old girls who’ve been raped (an enterprise that he plans to underwrite with profits from his used coat hanger business) has gone on the official record as wanting to rid the state of any and all women’s healthcare clinics that might interfere with his woman-enslaving dream by providing the women of Kentucky with their constitutionally protected right to abortion.

Now there’s just one women’s clinic remaining in the state that provides abortions, and drooling, depraved sick fuck Matt Bevin smells victory in the air!–or maybe its just the skanky scent of blister ooze generated from excessive chode-jerking at the idea of enslaving women and owning their pussies. Who knows? Maybe he should hold his cracked, bleeding, overly-yanked pee-pee up to state inspector general Robert Silverthorn’s face and ask him what he thinks it smells like. You know–other than Bevin’s mother’s undies.

Not so fast there, you pulpy, unwashed fart muscles! EMW Women’s Clinic, Kentucky’s last abortion provider, along with Planned Parenthood and the ACLU, would like a word with you. In court. In federal fucking court. Because they’re suing your misogynistic, chode yanking-and-sniffing selves.

It seems that the state has been constantly and maliciously changing its regulatory rules for EMW in the hope of tripping it up, finding it in violation, and closing it down. Chodemeister Bevin and his prison bitch Silverthorn claim it’s all because they love women so much, they want to ensure their health is rigorously protected with nothing but the finest inefficient bullshit that bureaucracy can offer.

EMW, PP, and ACLU beg to differ.

And the Kentucky Betsies were there in Handmaid’s garb standing in silent vigil, bearing witness.

The KY Bets were last seen in their Handmaid garb this summer, at the woman-hating, fetusfetishalooza put on by the Christianity-debasing, pussy-obsessed, forced-birth fanatics Operation Save America.

Way to go, Kentucky Betsies!

“Thanks for the Sepsis”

by BetsyM Comment Closed

So what does Louisville, KY, Betsy do to unwind after a long day spent telling hayseed neo-nazis to go fuck their moms? Why, she swings by the home of her old friend and recovering high school swirly victim Sen. Mitch “Murder Turtle” McConnell, and she drops off a “Thanks For The Sepsis” banner on his front doorstep in tribute to his incompetently executed and ultimately failed campaign to destroy healthcare for millions of vulnerable Americans–with a little career advice for the Yertle manqué tossed in for good measure.

Oh, hell the fuck no

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Kentucky has exactly one remaining abortion clinic. If you own a uterus and live in Kentucky and your boyfriend slips you a roofie or your uncle rapes you or your 20-week ultrasound shows an anencephalic fetus or you just fucking want to not give birth, your choices if Louisville’s EMW Women’s Surgical Center closes will be:

–Shake out your couch cushions for hundreds of dollars in loose change, then steal away from your oppressive family to drive hundreds of miles in the car you may not have to the nearest clinic in another state.

–Gestate the baby and go through hours of painful and expensive labor anyway, none of which will be covered by medical insurance when the GOP takes it away.

–Take a trip to Hobby Lobby for some knitting needles and hope the housekeeping staff at the Motel 6 doesn’t have to phone-in your bled-out body the next day.

Meanwhile, the “pro-life” Gilead Officers Party (GOP) wants you to have no education about how your body works, no affordable birth control, no maternal leave, and no help with food or childcare after you give birth.

Into this context steps Operation Save America, led by a twatnugget named Rusty Thomas, which is probably also what he nicknamed the blotchy dick he wags in front of the long-suffering woman he uses as breeding stock at home, together with whom he runs–and we shit thee not, dear betsies–“Thomas Nation’s University of Righteousness,” a.k.a. his own private child brainwashing compound in his home in Waco, Texas.

Thomas and OSA want to shut down that clinic because, you know, they care so much for babies and shit.

Seriously, these chodestumps have launched a full-on, weeks-long fetalpalooza in downtown Louisville, caravanning their quiverfuls of sisterwives and progeny to try to shut down the clinic, forcing Homeland Security to create a buffer zone and generally turning the entire area into an open-air Zyogote Temple.

So Kentucky Betsies said, “Oh, hell the fuck no” and put on the red veil to counterprotest these wipes.

NO KKK
NO OSA
NO NEO-NAZI USA