Gun Industry Predator Registry

Republican U.S. Representative Peter Roskam of Illinois’s 6th District is a douche with an A rating from the NRA (whilst simultaneously claiming to be “pro life,” lulz) even as the biggest city in his state–which is powerless to pass its own gun regulations, not that it matters when the city is right next to blood-red Indiana–suffers an epidemic of gun deaths. Roskam is content to throw his fellow Illinoisans into the jaws of America’s morally depraved firearm industry, so Illinois Betsies left a calling card in his yard to alert his neighborhood to the fact that they live next to a piece of shit. We have a sexual predator registry. It’s time for a gun industry predator registry.

Deb Fischer is an NRA Puppet

U.S. Senator Deb Fischer has the personality of a stale low-sodium saltine and the dynamism of a lump fish on quaaludes. Her sole purpose in the Senate is to click the “yes” button every time the NRA or any other greedy racist industry asks to fuck this country. And note to lobbyists: she’s a cheap date, too–a couple of Runzas and some Miller High Life and she’s all yours.

Douchebarrel Darrel Issa

Douchebarrel Darrell Issa, Republican Congressman of California’s 49th District, is a flagrant groveling Trump toady and all-round GOP piece of shit. As the wealthiest currently serving member of the US House of Representatives, he gives nary a shit whether the plebes are mowed down at school, work, or play, as long as Donald Trump still thinks he’s cool enough to hang out with.

 

The Only Silencer America Needs

This country-destroying, violence-mongering, racist POS deatheater can go right ahead and shut the fuck up. And for more information on Mr. LaPierre, please do consult the facelift Betsy Riot gave his web site. www.waynelapierre.com

 

The Festering Moral Rot at the Core of America

The gun industry is the festering moral rot at the core of America. Gun culture is where racism, misogyny, xenophobia, the police state, and the worst excesses of unbridled capitalism intersect. That is why we at the Betsy Riot do not fuss with the particulars of this or that gun legislation and instead maintain the position FUCK YOUR GUNS and MELT THEM ALL. We want the total destruction of the firearms industry and we want the population and police disarmed. Melt them down.

We call on all betsies to ACT. If you call your representative do not ask them to please support or withdraw from this or that fucked up shit legislation. Tell them to MELT THE FUCKING GUNS. Tell them that we will no longer allow an industry to capitalize on ignorance, fear, and slaughter. Tell your GOP Congressman that he is a FESTERING PUDDLE OF BLOODY GUNLICKING HUMAN SHIT because Jesus H Christ that is exactly what he is and your feel-good high-roader liberal political group’s postcards and petitions do not mean a damned thing to him.

Show up at their offices and front lawns and use EVERY AVAILABLE NONVIOLENT METHOD to demand that these fucking deatheating assholes put the lives in their commmunities above blood money. Stick a sign in their front lawns announcing to their very lovely McMansion neighborhood that a diseased NRA anus lives in this house. STOP PUTTING COMFORT FIRST.

Let’s Bake Shit Cookies for Fascists

Why, sure, high-road nice lady resistance group. We’d love to join you as you deliver pathetic cupcakes to your fascist senator’s office.

Kentucky Handmaids

Kentucky governor Matt Bevin–an aspiring forced pregnancy farmer who dreams of industrialized birthing warehouses packed with impregnated 12 year old girls who’ve been raped (an enterprise that he plans to underwrite with profits from his used coat hanger business) has gone on the official record as wanting to rid the state of any and all women’s healthcare clinics that might interfere with his woman-enslaving dream by providing the women of Kentucky with their constitutionally protected right to abortion.

Now there’s just one women’s clinic remaining in the state that provides abortions, and drooling, depraved sick fuck Matt Bevin smells victory in the air!–or maybe its just the skanky scent of blister ooze generated from excessive chode-jerking at the idea of enslaving women and owning their pussies. Who knows? Maybe he should hold his cracked, bleeding, overly-yanked pee-pee up to state inspector general Robert Silverthorn’s face and ask him what he thinks it smells like. You know–other than Bevin’s mother’s undies.

Not so fast there, you pulpy, unwashed fart muscles! EMW Women’s Clinic, Kentucky’s last abortion provider, along with Planned Parenthood and the ACLU, would like a word with you. In court. In federal fucking court. Because they’re suing your misogynistic, chode yanking-and-sniffing selves.

It seems that the state has been constantly and maliciously changing its regulatory rules for EMW in the hope of tripping it up, finding it in violation, and closing it down. Chodemeister Bevin and his prison bitch Silverthorn claim it’s all because they love women so much, they want to ensure their health is rigorously protected with nothing but the finest inefficient bullshit that bureaucracy can offer.

EMW, PP, and ACLU beg to differ.

And the Kentucky Betsies were there in Handmaid’s garb standing in silent vigil, bearing witness.

The KY Bets were last seen in their Handmaid garb this summer, at the woman-hating, fetusfetishalooza put on by the Christianity-debasing, pussy-obsessed, forced-birth fanatics Operation Save America.

Way to go, Kentucky Betsies!

Alt-Right Vulture Politicians

While the alt-right vulture politicians of Nebraska suited up for their weekly display of faux-godliness, OMAHA Betsy said “Let there be banners” and there were banners. And Omahans saw the banners, and saw that they were good.
~ Betsy 09:03

TL;DR: The Cheeto-hued One and his minions are fascist pieces of shit.

Young Men Yell At Clouds

IOWA CITY, IA… YOUNG MEN YELL AT CLOUDS

Betsy got a heads up that the “Iowa Libertarian Party” planned a playdate! They are SO MAD YOU GUYS about socialists, and socialism, and VENEZUELA and roads and shit.

Iowa Betsy informs us that the LP dudes assembled at Scooter’s mom’s house for their Libertarian Exceptionalism Book Club meeting (week 45, “Atlas Shrugged”, AGAIN). Then that scrappy band of Izod wearing original thinkers who are impossible to pigeonhole because they are so unique and individualistic when they parrot right wing narcissism masquerading as ideology grabbed their Doritos and Gadsdens, piled into Biff’s Prius, and drove (ON PUBLIC ROADS!!!! THAT. ARE. NOT. PRIVATE.) over to the chosen venue at the appointed hour.

The venue? A park.
A park named “City Park”
In the city of Iowa City.
Give that a minute.

Unbeknownst to the khaki trousered LPers, Betsy had done a recce and prepared her patented Welcome Wagon for them.

You know what actually sucks? #CognitiveDissonanceSucks