Nebraska GOP = Flaming Assholes

Today was the last day of the Nebraska legislative session, and senators patted each other on the back over lunch for slashing over 30 million dollars from state services for disabled kids, the elderly, and the mentally ill all so one percenters like their scrotal ulcer governor Pete Ricketts wouldn’t have to pay higher taxes.

So Nebraska Betsies took to the streets with their giant tube of anal cream. They stood outside the restaurant where the parasites who feed off of disabled kids celebrated, and jeered and taunted them as the flaming assholes lurched outside and slithered to the Capitol. “Only flaming assholes fund their own tax breaks off the suffering of children,” they yelled, as well as “Do you kill kids and the mentally ill before or after church?”

Betsy Visits Orange City, Iowa

You know what Iowa Betsies have officially fucking had it with? U.S. Rep. Steve KKKing, the long-serving white supremacist miscreant representing both the 4th District of Iowa and the Shittiest Recesses of the Human Brain.

This weekend, Orange City, Iowa, is hosting its famous Tulip Festival, in which the residents who voted over 80% for Steve KKKing put on a pretty show of Dutch heritage and pretend to be decent human beings and not white-supremacy-enabling wads as they invite you to spend your tourist dollars in their town. One part of their annual celebration: inviting the esteemed KKKing, who presumably explains why “other people’s babies” are not fit to “rebuild civilization” but are totally welcome to enrich his district.

So Iowa Betsies headed over to place some truthful advertising around the town. Our favorite: “Fuck Your Racist Tulips.”

Betsy Goes to Murder Prom

Every year hundreds of gunlicking death fetishists come together (pun intended) at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration at San Diego’s Hotel del Coronado. We imagine the patriots in attendance have an unspoken “what happens at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration stays at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration” agreement with their mildewed blow-up dolls, resulting in a weekend of orgiastic ecstasy as they fondle OPP (Other Patriots’ Pistols) and slobber over products designed to help them kill people. The gallery hall is full of This grotesque jizzfest of toxic masculinity and homicide worship that it is known locally as MURDER PROM.

San Diego Betsy was not invited to Murder Prom, but that didn’t stop her from dropping by.

GOP Stinks of “Roadkill Anus”

Oh, dear. Somebetsy in California left some perfumed literature all over a hotel area where the KKKGB aka the Republican Party was meeting. We hear that the deatheaters were forced to raise toasts to their treasonous takeover of our country and abject toady servitude to Il Douche while the stank of “roadkill anus” lingered in the air.