Murder Turtle

Kentucky Betsies delivered some calling cards to the porch of their homicidal senator (see our post from last night) and inspired us to make this helpful reference guide for suggested new fauna names. Share with your friends to get the word out.

How’s It Feel, Asshole?

Kansas’s Attorney General Kris Kobach is an abscessed penis wrinkle who has risen to rightwing glory through his distinct blend of Islamophobia, disparagement of immigrants, and general evangelical twatbaggery. He is currently leading the charge under his Putin-owned overlords to completely fuck American democracy by requesting voter information from all 50 states under the pretense of investigating voting by illegal immigrants. Recently, Kobach published the names and addresses of citizens who had written his committee to complain about his voter suppression efforts.

Kobach is the perfect chode to lead Trump’s committee on “voter fraud,” being no stranger himself to cheating: he was recently fined by a federal court for lying to conceal the nature of documents in his possession about the National Voter Registration Act, and a couple of years ago he lied when applying for a building permit in Kansas, though the friendly officials there made the unusual decision not to penalize the attorney general.

Like most lying sacks of fascist excreta who avoid the law in their own lives while trying to jackboot women and people of color, Kobach gets his “moral” support from a hate megachurch in Overland Park that dresses up oppressive public policy as the revealed will of Jesus. Christ Church Anglican is part of the Anglican Mission of the Americas, which, among other predictable horseshit, aligns itself with the movement in Africa to persecute gay people.

So some betsies left a greeting card at Kobach’s rural property, then–in a rare exception to Betsy’s policy of not doxxing–she banged up these helpful flyers around nearby Lawrence, Kansas. Finally, she stopped by Christ Church Anglican of Overland Park to address the church’s shittiness.

A Dark Night

July 20 is the anniversary of the Aurora, Colorado, gun massacre in the Cinemark Century 16 movie theater, during a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises, when the America-hating, death eating blood suckers of the NRA and the bloody flux-lapping shit wallowers in the U.S. Congress slaughtered by proxy 12 people and injured 70 others after letting a law banning semi-automatic weapons and high capacity magazines lapse in 2004, thereby allowing a mentally disturbed man to purchase them ONLINE.

We’ve uploaded a new sticker commemorating the Aurora massacre to our Betsy Printables Dropbox folder. It is formatted for Avery 5163 labels, available at office supply stores.

Feel free to go see a movie tomorrow. If you see anything interesting, be sure to take a photo of it and send it to us.

Here are the direct links to the .pdf of these stickers:

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/82sax9y30g6uqws/AABtERNLzpmAcCp161bnDcl0a/STICKERS%20-%20GUN%20THEMED/AURORA%20DARK%20KNIGHT%20-%20Avery%205163.pdf?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/l1yuhfzk59z6vlj/BATMAN%20FUCK%20YOUR%20GUNS%20-%20Avery%205163.pdf?dl=0

Betsy Stands Up to Christianist Hate Churches

How do shithead politicians reconcile their poor-hating, gun-pushing, immigrant-targeting policies with the Christian religion, which worships an impoverished middle eastern refugee baby who grew up to advocate nonviolent socialist ideals?

Christianist hate churches, that’s how. In every state in this country where policy makers are fucking the poor, the brown, and the vulnerable, they are being applauded and empowered by pastors and congregations that teach them that God himself sanctions stomping a jackboot on the most needy among us.

Christianist hate churches are the ideological motors of the far right. They are where the most disgusting impulses in our country receive social and “divine” validation.

Case in point: Berean Church of Nebraska is a megachurch whose congregation includes a roster of jackboots propping themselves up on a Bible. Most recently, congregant Doug Peterson, Attorney General of the State of Nebraska, co-signed a letter asking Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III to make it easier to deport Dreamers—he literally worships an immigrant on Sundays and wants help from Trump to bust up immigrant families on Mondays.

Fuck that piece of shit.

Nebraska Betsies held a demonstration in front of the church yesterday morning, where the congregation gaped, gasped, and offered up the single-finger Berean Salute as they rolled into church. At one point church security—which is armed at Berean—tried to intimidate the Betsies by driving by at a crawl wearing a doucheketeer bluetooth earpiece and filming them as closely as possible for later wanking in the church situation room.

Betsy is here to say: you don’t get to practice everyday fascism with no pushback anymore.

Don Young = Cankered Penis

Don Young is a cankered penis who has been fucking his home state of Alaska in Congress since 1973. Besides holding predictable positions on government enforced pregnancy and the assignation of thousands of his constituents to death by medical neglect and penury, this fetid chode actively wants to open up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to permanent fucking by the oil industry. You know, because #prolife. So Alaska Betsy has taken to improving this cheese-dribbler’s campaign signs and encourages fellow residents of the Last Frontier to keep a marker handy and add their own improvements.

John “Goose-Step” Gale

Betsy Rioters in Nebraska placed a sign in front of the home of Nebraska Secretary of State John “Goose-Step” Gale, who is all too eager to hand over Nebraska voter information to the widely disdained and fraudulent Pence-Kobach commission in their pursuit to make Russia’s job at hacking and controlling our democratic voting system that much easier. Fuck Goose-Step Gale and fuck the unending degradation of our democracy by the fascist imbeciles of the Kremlin Klan.