Fuck Calm. Fuck Pearl-Clutching. Fuck Nice.
Be a Betsy.
HOLD BETSY’S EARRINGS.
Betsy Riot began with a simple message: FUCK THE NRA and its gunhumping knob-slurping minions. When the NRA and Russia installed President Tiny Hands von Pussy Grabber into office, we expanded our messaging to: FUCK FASCISM, because fascism is the tie that binds.
Which is why we were dismayed recently to learn that Everytown for Gun Safety (ET), the largest so-called “gun violence prevention” organization in America, has chosen a very different message: FASCISM, RACISM, POLICE BRUTALITY, GUNLICKING AND TRUMP ARE FUCKING AWESOME!
Everytown, it turns out, is demonstrating its courage and commitment to ending gun violence in America by co-funding and co-sponsoring the annual circle jerk of police brutality celebrants who comically call themselves the Fraternal Order of Police (FOP)! Everytown is lending their name to the event alongside the NRA, Beretta, and other killing-related tacticalwhateverthefuckwhogivesashit businesses–because the best way to fight gun violence is to give your money to fascists, roll over to show them your vulnerable crotch and hope they like you.
Betsy Riot says: FUCK THAT SHIT.
Our rage at the murder lobbyists now must become a big tent rage that includes Everytown and any other so-called “gun violence prevention group” that has made deliberate, calculated concessions to the NRA and its brown-shirted enablers at the state and federal levels, concessions most often paid for with the lives and bodies of black and brown youth in this country.
–The FOP endorsed Donald Trump.
–The FOP defended Trump when he gave police a green light to stomp their jackboots all over due process and rough up arrestees.
–The FOP called 12-year-old Tamir Rice, shot dead for holding a toy gun, a “thug.”
–Google “Lautenberg Amendment”. FOP opposed that and sued to stop it.
–A scheduled speaker at this year’s FOPfest is none other than Betty Jo Shelby, the murderous cop who was recently acquitted for the killing of an unarmed black man, Terence Crutcher.
It is unconscionable that a so-called gun violence prevention organization is handing money (whose money? Yours?) alongside the NRA to sponsor an unapologetic fascism fan club. Crushing your moral compass and holding hands with the murderers of unarmed inner city children is no way to end gun violence in this country.
If you care about gun violence, we call on you to stop wasting your dollars by supporting fascism by proxy. Fuck the cowards of Everytown and donate instead to Black Lives Matter or a worthy social justice program of your choice.
And as always, send your mantears and/or momtears to firstname.lastname@example.org
Which industry has monetized America’s original sin, racism? Which industry feeds the flames of hate and fear to coax cowards and racist idiots to arm themselves against their fellow man? The National Rifle Association is the lobbying arm of the American firearms industry, and they make bank off our country burning. Fuck them.
NO NEO-NAZI USA
In May, Americans for Prosperity set up shop in New Mexico, eager to start pumping dark money into state politics after lapdog governor Susana Martinez vetoed a bill that would require fuller disclosure of campaign funding. As you already know, Betsies, Americans for Prosperity is funded by the billionaire Koch Brothers and has been instrumental to funneling massive financial resources into pushing a far-right political agenda across the country that is dead-set on fucking the entire planet.
The New Mexico chapter of Americans for Prosperity is led by Burly Cain, exactly the kind of libertarian chode you would imagine, who, when he is not trying to wedge a flaccid Ayn Rand dystopic future up the unsuspecting poop chute of his state, opposes a living wage and spends his time on such ventures as “Adwallet,” which pays poor people pennies to watch shitty advertisements, thus making them all prosperous again.
Here’s a summary of the platform position of the New Mexico Americans for Prosperity:
–Dark money is just what democracy needs
–Exiting Paris Climate accord great
–Minimum wage bad
–Assault rifles, for-profit Christian “education” and pipelines great
Last night Cain held a NM Americans for Prosperity event, in which he offered to “educate” the public about dark money, trickle-down economics and the brighter future they hold for New Mexico—as bright as a nuclear dawn!
So New Mexico Betsies staged a funeral procession in front of the event, protesting the state’s “Koch Cain problem.” Cain responded by calling armed security—private security, so at least he gets props for libertarian consistency!—to keep a watchful eye on these terrifying Betsies.
America’s murder lobby a/k/a the NRA has a new video, in which Death Barbie Dana says that the NRA–we shit thee not– is “coming for” the New York Times. (No links to that shit from here. Google it and turn your volume up to 11 to hear it over the mobs of fapping Duck Dynasty extras that comprise her fan base.) It seems that Wayne LaPierre and crew are not at all happy that the New York Times is hurting the fragile fee-fees of the President they wasted $30million to get elected.
In these polarizing times, we at Betsy Central are angry about fake news, too. So let’s get right to it–for too long the media has sanitized the facts about Wayne LaPierre and his historic success at building the American murder industry. That’s why, when Mr. LaPierre let his domain registration lapse, the Betsy Riot acquired www.waynelapierre.com to right the record. Please check it out and be sure to admire the portfolio of his work.
Check out what just came down the pike.
Do you remember Ted Nugent? He is a has-been “musician” turned NRA board member who has tried to maintain his fame by stoking gunlicking, white nationalist cocksplats into a war against liberals and people of color. He himself avoided actual war by literally shitting his pants to get out of it, then rose to musical s̶t̶a̶r̶d̶o̶m̶ half-chub through such hits as “Jailbait,” about his interest in raping a 13-year-old girl. This peach was recently invited to the White House, where he left a trail of Slim Jim grease and pre-ejaculate all over the golden drapery of the Oval Office.
Well, Ron Onesti, owner of Arcada Theater in St. Charles outside of Chicago, decided to invite this misogynist white supremacist living shart to give a concert there tonight, but was sufficiently aware that Spugent would be received poorly by the city that he didn’t even hang up a single poster to advertise. Imagine Illinois Betsy’s surprise when she strolled by this morning to discover a large handmade CANCELED banner hung on the theater, a rather surprising letter from the Spuge himself on the theater window, an apology taped on the door of nearby businesses, and even a sign decrying the fucker in the front lawn of the theater owner.
Five years ago a deranged fuck slaughtered twelve people and horrifically injured many others at the Century 16 theater in Aurora, Colorado. He was enabled by a parasitic gun industry and vulture lobbyists who made sure that even a fucking obvious psychopath could buy unlimited firepower and ammunition. We are marking the anniversary by distributing this freely downloadable sticker for you to print at home, for placement wherever lead-addled idiots need reminding.
July 20 is the anniversary of the Aurora, Colorado, gun massacre in the Cinemark Century 16 movie theater, during a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises, when the America-hating, death eating blood suckers of the NRA and the bloody flux-lapping shit wallowers in the U.S. Congress slaughtered by proxy 12 people and injured 70 others after letting a law banning semi-automatic weapons and high capacity magazines lapse in 2004, thereby allowing a mentally disturbed man to purchase them ONLINE.
We’ve uploaded a new sticker commemorating the Aurora massacre to our Betsy Printables Dropbox folder. It is formatted for Avery 5163 labels, available at office supply stores.
Feel free to go see a movie tomorrow. If you see anything interesting, be sure to take a photo of it and send it to us.
Here are the direct links to the .pdf of these stickers:
Betsy has always had a soft spot in her heart for John Lott, the NRA’s pet “researcher,” author, and fulltime anal fissure whose fraudulent and completely debunked “studies” are used to push guns in every walk of American life. In fact, one of Betsy’s favorite actions was when multiple Betsies ruined his day by standing up during one of his public talks to call him out for the noxious carbuncle on America’s ass that he is.
So imagine Betsy’s delight when she discovered that dear Mr. Lott had allowed his web domain registration to expire. Oh, no. Heavens to us. Mr. Lott shall be displeased.