Um, no, how about you stop treading on the rest of US, gunlicking asshole?
Illinois Betsies learned that the Lake County Republican Party was holding an NRA wankfest right after yet another massacre. And it’s always right after yet another massacre because this is the NRA’s America. So Betsy left this calling card for the LaPierre toadies setting up the “Second Amendment Dinner and Gun Raffle,” which was selling guns to benefit the GOP…as all gun sales do.
Oh, dear. Sigh. The Kentucky Betsies visited Sen. Mitch “Murder Turtle” McConnell’s house in Louisville AGAIN and left more than a few signs for him. Why so many? We can only assume it’s because Mitch debases democracy in so many areas you can’t fit them all on one poster–from Chris Cox-sucking the blood money-jizzing death dick of the NRA, to proclaiming himself the wise Poindexter overlord of all women’s bodies as well as the beknickered Fauntleroy executioner to millions of sick and vulnerable and poor by diligently working to destroy the Affordable Care Act and Medicare.
And though there is no lawn sign for this offense, we would add to the list, proclaiming himself nebbishy supreme ruler of the country and the magical Dungeons-and-Dragons manifestation of all the country’s founders rolled into one by shitting on the Constitution and refusing to hold hearings for a two-time democratically elected president’s Supreme Court nominee. Though arguably, that’s what the “You Just Fucking Suck” sign was likely about. An “etc.” to cover the rest of the list.
Mitch McConnell has a reputation for being a “smart” legislator, but that’s mostly because people feel bad about his nerdy physical appearance and they want to say something nice. The truth is, he has demonstrated no competence or skill whatsoever at passing legislation–only a staggering capacity to destroy and obstruct the work of others.
The facts are: Mitch is a fraud. He looks like a turtle. And he is full of shit.
Which may be the reason that the small paper mache likeness of Mitch, which the Betsies also left on his lawn, was frankly kinda heavy to carry, to hear them tell it. And it smelled, we are told, like a Saint Bernard’s dingleberry encrusted ass–as though someone had perversedly saved up an entire week’s worth of their dog’s bowel movements and then spooned it into a hole in the bottom of the paper mache to create a fecal lawn piñata. That looked like a turtle. Or Mitch McConnell. As the case may be.
Or so we’re told. We weren’t there.
Had we been there we would have most certainly admonished those bad, bad Betsies.
Really!–what are we to do with them?
This week when Louisville KY police responded to a call, Corey Boykin, aka Cobo, opened the door. The police did not identify themselves or ask him to put his hands up, instead opening fire immediately and without warning. A Betsy dropped this banner this morning. The American gun industry profits off of every gun, every shooting, and the militarization of the police. Melt the guns.
Fuck NRA toady Congressman Duncan Hunter of California.
We at Betsy Riot think it would be a real crying shame and possibly in violation of local ordinances, depending on location, if people everywhere were to print out this pdf (link to full-sized 8/5″ x 11″ file here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/zh3uaztkwsw2i…/MURDER%20STORE.pdf…) and plaster it all over every fucking gun store in your respective towns. It would be even worse if you laminated them so they would last longer and built yourself a Betsy banger according to the easy-to-follow instructions here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88y-DdPlDF0) and whacked these things up high, making them difficult to remove. It would, in fact, be so tragically unfair that we are willing to bet that unlike the slaughter of 58 people at a concert, it might actually elicit a reaction from the gunlicking shitstains who pour guns into your community.
Republican Congressman Don Bacon of Nebraska’s 2nd District is an NRAsswipe, and last night Betsy Riot popped by to tell him so. Here we have tastefully pixelated an artistic chode sketch because while you can use Facebook to plan your Nazi rallies and sell guns, if you show a cartoon dick you’ll get booted off. Unfortunately, Don Bacon IS a cartoon dick, so it makes our jobs just a little harder… like Don Bacon gets when Wayne LaPierre calls.
U.S. Senator Deb Fischer has the personality of a stale low-sodium saltine and the dynamism of a lump fish on quaaludes. Her sole purpose in the Senate is to click the “yes” button every time the NRA or any other greedy racist industry asks to fuck this country. And note to lobbyists: she’s a cheap date, too–a couple of Runzas and some Miller High Life and she’s all yours.