A Weekend of Mantears

In Atlanta this weekend, the National Rifle Association will be holding its annual jizz-fest of blood merchants and their frightened, gullible gunlicker consumer base. There, within a convention hall-cum-armory, they will spew anti-American, anti-democracy hate while bizarrely telling themselves they are being patriots, after which they will fritter away their children’s lunch money and/or college fund (depending on their eraser-smudged SAT scores) for death-oriented, but apparently dick-hardening merchandise while outside in the real world, all across America, thousands of lives will be continue to be lost because of an immoral, out-of-control, shittily-regulated, democracy-hating war industry championed by the NRAssholes.

Sounds fun! We think we’ll join in!

Betsy Riot, a nonviolent, but modestly rude and profane organization, will be flying an airplane banner above this craven convention of timorous cretins while also circling them with a mobile billboard promoting the fairly dry fact that they are not “good guys with guns” but “frightened boys with a gun fetish.” We cheekily call it our “ground and air” assault. Because Betsy is nothing if she isn’t cheeky.

To the whiny, gunlicker demographic, this constitutes a violent threat. But what can you expect from people who consider honking a horn in traffic or playing rap music too loud or eating skittle while being black or dancing while being gay or throwing popcorn in a movie theater to be life-threatening? What can you expect from nitwits who are so terrified of life that they need to carry slaughter sticks everywhere they go, including whenever they have a hankering to buy cookies?

We need to remember to bring our umbrellas. The forecast calls for a mantear downpour.

#NRAAM2017 #BetsyRiot #NRA #FuckTheNRA

“Alliance Defending Freedom”

“Alliance Defending Freedom”


Betsy received this missive from “Alliance Defending Freedom.” You may be tempted to think, “Why, yes, with a pussy-grabbing nazi turdcock in the White House, we shall, indeed, need to defend freedom!” Alas, it seems that Alliance Defending Freedom has different ideas. You see, they contend it’s the poor evangelicals who are under siege right now–from Planned Parenthood. So Betsy took out her correcting pen and made some suggestions for revision before mailing it back.

John Lott is a Lying Sack of Shit

John Lott is a Lying Sack of Shit

We hear from Nebraska Betsy that John Lott is positively torn up over being called out as a lying sack of shit during his recent visit to the Cornhusker state. Even better, his local disciples, always staunch defenders of Constitutional freedoms, believe Nebraska Betsy has gone beyond the protections of the First Amendment in holding signs at Lott’s NRA jizzfest. Nebraska Betsy will be sure to request the sweet nectar of gunlicker tears for her last meal.

 

12