An accurately labeled clown mask
Betsy Visits Trump Tower
Protect Dreamers, Deport Trump
Crete, Nebraska decided several years ago that it could go the way of so many middle-American small towns and slowly die, or it could do the smart, humane thing and embrace the immigrants who want to live and work there and make it their home. They chose the rational option and embraced their proud history as an immigrant destination and the small town is now flourishing, with a vibrant main street. The public schools are over 40% immigrant kids, announcements over the PA system are bilingual (as is all the material coming home from school), and the guidance counselor at the high school is a proud Dreamer. It’s no wonder these signs have started popping up in town.
Detailing a Douchemobile
Deb Fischer is an NRA Puppet
U.S. Senator Deb Fischer has the personality of a stale low-sodium saltine and the dynamism of a lump fish on quaaludes. Her sole purpose in the Senate is to click the “yes” button every time the NRA or any other greedy racist industry asks to fuck this country. And note to lobbyists: she’s a cheap date, too–a couple of Runzas and some Miller High Life and she’s all yours.
Ted Nugent – Canceled
Check out what just came down the pike.
Do you remember Ted Nugent? He is a has-been “musician” turned NRA board member who has tried to maintain his fame by stoking gunlicking, white nationalist cocksplats into a war against liberals and people of color. He himself avoided actual war by literally shitting his pants to get out of it, then rose to musical s̶t̶a̶r̶d̶o̶m̶ half-chub through such hits as “Jailbait,” about his interest in raping a 13-year-old girl. This peach was recently invited to the White House, where he left a trail of Slim Jim grease and pre-ejaculate all over the golden drapery of the Oval Office.
Well, Ron Onesti, owner of Arcada Theater in St. Charles outside of Chicago, decided to invite this misogynist white supremacist living shart to give a concert there tonight, but was sufficiently aware that Spugent would be received poorly by the city that he didn’t even hang up a single poster to advertise. Imagine Illinois Betsy’s surprise when she strolled by this morning to discover a large handmade CANCELED banner hung on the theater, a rather surprising letter from the Spuge himself on the theater window, an apology taped on the door of nearby businesses, and even a sign decrying the fucker in the front lawn of the theater owner.
“Thanks for the Sepsis”
So what does Louisville, KY, Betsy do to unwind after a long day spent telling hayseed neo-nazis to go fuck their moms? Why, she swings by the home of her old friend and recovering high school swirly victim Sen. Mitch “Murder Turtle” McConnell, and she drops off a “Thanks For The Sepsis” banner on his front doorstep in tribute to his incompetently executed and ultimately failed campaign to destroy healthcare for millions of vulnerable Americans–with a little career advice for the Yertle manqué tossed in for good measure.