Happy Easter, one and all

You know how the United States is overrun by assholes who simultaneously espouse the most disgusting anti-poor, pro-death, pro-gun fuckery AND thump Bibles and listen to shitty Christian rock? Betsy is fed up with churches that reassure greaseturds that their Savior rejoices in public policy that degrades women and promotes poverty, misery, and white nationalism. So she has been seeking out these hives, going straight to the churches to ask parishioners how in the holy fuck they reconcile the teachings of a poor socialist pacifist Middle Eastern refugee with the endless tsunami of moral diarrhea issuing forth from the mouths of evangelical megachurch ministers.

This week her target was Berean Church of Lincoln, Nebraska, home to some of the state’s worst politicians. The church itself employs armed security guards–because whose skull would Jesus blow open?–and has even sent people to the state legislature to ask the government to allow more guns in church.

So Betsies put on their Easter dresses and began festooning the thousands of twatmobiles in the parking lot with this leaflet when a group of the church’s notorious security emerged a wee bit upset at the Betsies, and also likely feeling out of sorts due to the doucheketeer black jacket/jeans/brown shoe fuckknuckle combo that, along with concealed handguns, appear to be standard issue.

These testosterone-addled shartsnufflers proceeded to follow the betsies both on foot and by Ford F-onefitty for over a mile before the betsies lost them. Nothing intimidates a phony cross wagging NRA chode like some ladies with paper. Happy Easter, one and all.

Good Friday Bible Quiz

A Nebraska Betsy celebrated Good Friday by reminding the parishioners of a rightwing church that their death-penalty-pushing governor, Pete Ricketts, is an insult to the teachings of their savior. While the congregation reflected on the suffering and death of Jesus, their governor had illegally imported execution drugs and personally bankrolled a ballot initiative to get the death penalty back in the state.

Big Betsy is Watching

Betsy Riot staged a protest in Omaha, Nebraska Friday night in front of the Republican Party’s fundraiser dinners. Plates ran about $2000 each. Governor Pete Ricketts, Senator Deb Fischer, Congressman Don Bacon, Mayor Jean Stothert and other supporters of fascism, misogyny, and xenophobia attended the dinner in the hopes of raising funds for more fucking over of the poor, the brown, and the female, and with secondary anticipations that some well-placed Viagra, a little alcoholic lubrication, some fancy dress suits, and the stale whiff of money and power would prompt their companions to some slightly-less-begrudging-than-usual sex afterward.

The guest speaker at the fundraiser was alt-right fascist propagandist Charlie Kirk, founder and executivedirector of the anti-intellectual advocacy group Turning Point USA,best known for its campaign to intimidate public education faculty with a “Professor Watchlist”—a hitlist that personally targets academics whose teachings contradict the imbecilities and “alternative facts” of rightwing dogma.

Betsy Riot booed attendees, starting with former governor and “pro-life” neonatal care slasher Governor Dave Heineman, continuing until Charlie KKKirk was spotted purposely avoiding Betsy Riot by going a full block out of his way to slink across the street so he wouldn’t have to endure their watchful eyes.