If you’ve ever driven through the Great Plains, you are familiar with Fetus Row, the nonstop zygote worship that sprouts up from the corn and seems to result from too much exposure to Roundup. Betsy has begun keeping signage and a staplegun handy.
Kentucky has exactly one remaining abortion clinic. If you own a uterus and live in Kentucky and your boyfriend slips you a roofie or your uncle rapes you or your 20-week ultrasound shows an anencephalic fetus or you just fucking want to not give birth, your choices if Louisville’s EMW Women’s Surgical Center closes will be:
–Shake out your couch cushions for hundreds of dollars in loose change, then steal away from your oppressive family to drive hundreds of miles in the car you may not have to the nearest clinic in another state.
–Gestate the baby and go through hours of painful and expensive labor anyway, none of which will be covered by medical insurance when the GOP takes it away.
–Take a trip to Hobby Lobby for some knitting needles and hope the housekeeping staff at the Motel 6 doesn’t have to phone-in your bled-out body the next day.
Meanwhile, the “pro-life” Gilead Officers Party (GOP) wants you to have no education about how your body works, no affordable birth control, no maternal leave, and no help with food or childcare after you give birth.
Into this context steps Operation Save America, led by a twatnugget named Rusty Thomas, which is probably also what he nicknamed the blotchy dick he wags in front of the long-suffering woman he uses as breeding stock at home, together with whom he runs–and we shit thee not, dear betsies–“Thomas Nation’s University of Righteousness,” a.k.a. his own private child brainwashing compound in his home in Waco, Texas.
Thomas and OSA want to shut down that clinic because, you know, they care so much for babies and shit.
Seriously, these chodestumps have launched a full-on, weeks-long fetalpalooza in downtown Louisville, caravanning their quiverfuls of sisterwives and progeny to try to shut down the clinic, forcing Homeland Security to create a buffer zone and generally turning the entire area into an open-air Zyogote Temple.
So Kentucky Betsies said, “Oh, hell the fuck no” and put on the red veil to counterprotest these wipes.
Please enjoy our latest free downloadable sticker offering. We are sure many Betsies out there can find a 100% legal and appropriate place to plaster this because slapping them willy-nilly all over the next zygotemobile you see in your neighborhood would be terrible and very very wrong. Click on the link below to download a template to print on Avery 5168/8168 or similar generic labels.
This video just in from one of the groups of Betsies who crashed the Zygotians in front of Planned Parenthoods across the country yesterday. The betsies were dressed as handmaids from Margaret Atwood‘s “The Handmaid’s Tale.” It’s hard to make out on the recording, but the betsies believe the prayer being chanted by the Zygotians went something like this:
Hail Zygote, full of life,
life is in thee and nowhere else,
shield thee from all trespassers,
then let thee perish in misery and poverty or a rain of bullets upon thy birth.
For we give not a shit about thy mother,
her safety or sanity,
nor thyself upon entry into the world,
especially if thou art born in poverty or brown skin,
for then thou shalt pull thyself up by thy bootstraps,
except we cut thy bootstraps and called thee a freeloader
and built a wall to keep thee away from us
and stored up our AR-15s to shoot thee down.
OOOPS we did it again, motherfuckers!
#SorryNotSorry about crashing your FetusFestival™ again, holy rollers!
The call went out from the IVORY AF TOWER to turn up and #ProtestPP today, and like dutiful sheeple they arrived to wave pre-printed signs and hurl bible verses like RPGs aimed at reproductive choice.