Chinga Tu Madre!

N ew Mexico governor Susana Martinez is a transphobic, homophobic, pro-woman enslaving, domestic abuse-loving, public education-destroying, public healthcare-denying, Texas oil money shill and fierce–if badly slurring– drunken pizza party advocate (Google her name, “pizza,” and “911” for a few laughs) whose legendary ineptitude, jaw-dropping pettiness, outrageous nepotism, and Kill-Gut-Then-Eat-the-Poor-From-Your-Privileged-Diamond-Encrusted-Dinner-Table fiscal beliefs have earned New Mexico the title of “Worst-Run State” for two consecutive years running. This shitstain Trumpite enriches herself and rewards her wealthy unqualified cronies and donors with state appointments, while gratuitously and cruelly denying even the simplest of human dignities to the vulnerable in what is historically a poor state.

And so the New Mexico Betsy Rioters decided to pay a night visit to their State Capitol in Sante Fe–aka “the Roundhouse”–and leave a special message for their corrupt, hateful and incompetent governor, complete with pizza-shape exclamation points and helpful suggestions on how to spend quality time with her mom.

(BTW, the “tejana” nickname is apparently a regional monicker in New Mexico emphasizing Martinez’s outsider Texas origins and her lack of commitment to New Mexico as anything other than a shitting place for her and her poor people-belching Texas oil buddies.)

Fascinating Insights on Raising American Adults

It appears that someone has affixed this book blurb to copies of Republican U.S. Senator Ben Sasse’s smug excoriation of young Americans, whom he believes are simply not adulting well enough for his taste wholly due to the personal failings of an entire generation lacking in integrity and virtue, and not at all because of his own shitfuck policies that set fire to the ladder previous generations have been able to climb. Over the past several months Sasse has been touring the media, lubing the nation’s poop chute for his entry into the 2020 presidential race, when he hopes we will all remember him as the “Never Trump” Republican and not the Republican who voted for Trump and has supported Il Douche’s policies 98% of the time.

It would be a crying shame if other people were to download these stickers from this link and print them on Avery labels size 5168 or 8168: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hh25evd9zjtfxvt/SASSE.pdf?dl=0

California Betsy

Photographer Joe Dusel got this photo of the Betsy Riot outside of Congressman Douchebarrel Darrel Issa’s California office today. Issa voted to fuck over his constituents by voting for Trumpcare, and the California Betsies came to remind him what a gun-pushing, death-eating piece of shit he is.

Betsy and Ben

What happens when U.S. Senator Ben “Never Trump” Sasse, who it turns out from his voting record is actually U.S. Senator Ben “Always Trump” Sasse, turns the Lincoln, Nebraska marathon into a pathetic campaign opportunity for his inevitable 2020 presidential run? Betsy shows up.

Sen Ben Sasse, in gray shirt, politicizing the marathon. With Betsy Riot.

Posted by Craig Roper on Sunday, May 7, 2017

Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum

Today Nebraska’s Governor Pete Deatheater Ricketts signed into law a bill that will help women with dense breast tissue be accurately diagnosed if they have breast cancer. Sounds great, right? It is. Except meanwhile the piece of shit governor is trying to close clinics that serve poor women and children in order to give his wealthy friends tax cuts. So Betsy dressed as handmaids from Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale and haunted his press conference. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Betsy’s Bible Quiz

Parishioners at fascist-enabling churches in U.S. Rep. Steve KKKing’s congressional district in Iowa were reminded via a bible quiz on windshields, doors, and signs that their theology might make them feel like God’s chosen people but it is actually a steaming load of white supremacist horseshit.

Very Scary Betsies

We invite you to relish this primo trumpster snowflake, whose emails were acquired from a Freedom of Information request and shared with Betsy Riot.

Coby Mach is the head of a rightwing business association (LIBA) in Lincoln, Nebraska, and also obsessively watches this Facebook page for fear that veiled ladies might say mean words to him one day. Recently, Mr. Mach organized a luncheon where bootlicking fascist US Senator Deb Fischer would speak to Mr Mach’s fascist organization while assiduously avoiding her actual constituents. Mr. Mach, who generally hates it when government spends money, believed that the Lincoln Police Department needed to send a battalion of officers to make his snowflake luncheon a safe space from THE BETSY RIOT. Lincoln Police declined, saying that they would patrol the area according to their usual policy, but that if he wanted private security for his buffet the bill would be on him. 

Later, after the vewy scawy pwotest in which Betsies called the bootlicker senator a bootlicker and other protesters knocked on the window, Mach changed his soiled Fruit of the Looms (we assume) and expressed to Lincoln Police that his feelings were hurt because they had failed to arrest anyone. LPD explained that they viewed the whole thing as a success–nobody was hurt, no property was damaged, and nobody got arrested. But it did not feel like a safe space for Mr. Mach. Poor guy.

Here are some highlights from his lengthy email exchange, as well as a photo of the Betsies.

Deb Fischer = Bootlicker

Apparently things got tense in Nebraska yesterday when Bootlicking Trumptool Deb Fischer refused to meet with constituents but did meet with a rightwing special interest group. We are hoping to get photos and video of Betsy Riot’s shenanigans at that event, but in the meantime we received this from Omaha.

https://www.facebook.com/betsyriot/videos/1793008517692611/

The Heartland Resists

THE HEARTLAND RESISTS.

Last night in Lincoln, Nebraska, a riot of 15 betsies took to the streets of downtown in response to Senators Ben Sasse’s and Deb Fischer’s pathetic licking of Trump’s boot. Nebraska senators are dutiful fascists fucking over Nebraska children by helping Trump to destroy public education for corporate gain and by remaining silent or issuing simpering lukewarm statements on Trump’s executive actions to oppress immigrants and refugees.

One of the Lincoln Betsies said: “Look how quickly the ‘Never Trump’ Ben Sasse has lined up to genuflect to his master. We gathered to condemn the disgusting moral cowardice and fascist cooperation of both Sasse and Fischer. History does not look kindly on fascist toadies, and the fact that Sasse led a Nebraska university and Fischer’s mother was a teacher makes their approval of DeVos all the more pathetic and outrageous.”