We Tried to Warn You

OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM BETSY RIOT
ON THE RECENT TRAGEDY AT THE FASCIST
GUNSTITUTIONAL GOP/NRA DEATHWHORE/
PIECES OF SHIT BASEBALL PRACTICE:

“Violence is never the answer. Our thoughts and
prayers go out to your sorry fucking asses.

Just kidding. You’re assholes.

Now here’s a photo of some Betsies treading on the
piss-colored symbol of the hateful anti-government
dogma you spew to gunlickers.”

xoxo Betsy Riot

PS: No, but seriously–violence is never the answer.

PPS: Telling you to go fuck yourself is.

PPPS: Getting shot hurts and is a bummer, we know.

PPPPS: It’s what we’ve been trying to tell you fucking douchebags.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

Minnesota Betsy fine-tunes the message in her ongoing newspaper dispenser augmentation campaign.

It’s Still Fascism

St. Louis says putting a pretty face on fascism doesn’t make it not fascism.

Betsy Got Into John McCain’s Head

U.S. Senator John McCain has apparently not been the same since Betsy visited the pisser at his office.

Fascinating Insights on Raising American Adults

It appears that someone has affixed this book blurb to copies of Republican U.S. Senator Ben Sasse’s smug excoriation of young Americans, whom he believes are simply not adulting well enough for his taste wholly due to the personal failings of an entire generation lacking in integrity and virtue, and not at all because of his own shitfuck policies that set fire to the ladder previous generations have been able to climb. Over the past several months Sasse has been touring the media, lubing the nation’s poop chute for his entry into the 2020 presidential race, when he hopes we will all remember him as the “Never Trump” Republican and not the Republican who voted for Trump and has supported Il Douche’s policies 98% of the time.

It would be a crying shame if other people were to download these stickers from this link and print them on Avery labels size 5168 or 8168: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hh25evd9zjtfxvt/SASSE.pdf?dl=0

Truth in Advertising

Breaking! Hot off the Betsy Riot Press!

Have you heard about this shit in Springfield, Nebraska? It’s like a Trumpstertrash turducken: an inner core of rampant racism stuffed inside some sexism nested within a layer of transphobia.

Yesterday a little Hispanic girl from Omaha, Nebraska, went with her soccer team to nearby R̶a̶c̶i̶s̶t̶f̶u̶c̶k̶s̶v̶i̶l̶l̶e̶ Springfield to play in a soccer tournament. But the authorities at the Springfield Soccer Club turned away the entire Azzuri Cachorros girls’ team because the racist sexist gendernormative assholes claimed that the little girl, who dared to have short hair, was a boy.

No protestations to the contrary or even a health insurance card produced by her father could persuade them otherwise, and they disqualified the entire team.

That’s right: adults members of the species homo sapiens living in your country in 2017 actually disqualified an entire team for racist reasons that they somehow thought would be more palatable if they pretended they really had sexist/transphobic reasons to bully an 8-year-old girl who was fixing to kick the asses of their children on the soccer field.

So tonight the Betsy Riot visited the soccer facility in Springfield and helped them with a little truth in advertising.

Betsy Visits the Trumptrash Parade

On Saturday US Senator Joni Deatheater Ernst (first biker in fourth photo) led a procession of Trumpster Brownshirts from Des Moines, Iowa, to Boone, Iowa, where Gilead Supreme Commander Mike Pence whipped up a crowd of servile white supremacists for Trump’s complete fucking over of our country and our planet. “Trump cares about Des Moines, not Denmark,” the piece of planet-killing, misogynist shit said to a crowd of chortling, gullible, tobacco-juice stained white supremacist toadies. Also in attendance were dutiful country-fuckers Chuck Grassley and Steve KKKing.

The Trumptrash Parade was sullied, however, by a riot of Betsies who intercepted the GOP’s useful idiots in Polk City. The Betsies distributed flyers and held signs calling out the gullible planet-fucking shits as they rode by. We hear that the Betsies’ bucket of man tears collected hundreds of raised middle fingers, complaints about obscene language, and even a few extended monologues from racists who stopped for conversation.

We are the Betsy Riot. We will not stand idly by as these armed neo-nazis wrap themselves in our flag and kill our country and the world. Be a Betsy. Go ruin a fascist’s day.