That feeling when United States Senator Ben Sasse is so upset that women in his state call him out for the woman-hating, gunlicking fake conscientious asshole that he is that he runs to his mama for protection.
Betsy Visits Trump Tower
Betsy visited Trump Tower in Chicago.
Detailing a Douchemobile
This one weird trick makes your douchemobile acceptable.
Stop Treading on the Rest of US
Um, no, how about you stop treading on the rest of US, gunlicking asshole?
Betsy Visits the Murder Turtle, Again
Oh, dear. Sigh. The Kentucky Betsies visited Sen. Mitch “Murder Turtle” McConnell’s house in Louisville AGAIN and left more than a few signs for him. Why so many? We can only assume it’s because Mitch debases democracy in so many areas you can’t fit them all on one poster–from Chris Cox-sucking the blood money-jizzing death dick of the NRA, to proclaiming himself the wise Poindexter overlord of all women’s bodies as well as the beknickered Fauntleroy executioner to millions of sick and vulnerable and poor by diligently working to destroy the Affordable Care Act and Medicare.
And though there is no lawn sign for this offense, we would add to the list, proclaiming himself nebbishy supreme ruler of the country and the magical Dungeons-and-Dragons manifestation of all the country’s founders rolled into one by shitting on the Constitution and refusing to hold hearings for a two-time democratically elected president’s Supreme Court nominee. Though arguably, that’s what the “You Just Fucking Suck” sign was likely about. An “etc.” to cover the rest of the list.
Mitch McConnell has a reputation for being a “smart” legislator, but that’s mostly because people feel bad about his nerdy physical appearance and they want to say something nice. The truth is, he has demonstrated no competence or skill whatsoever at passing legislation–only a staggering capacity to destroy and obstruct the work of others.
The facts are: Mitch is a fraud. He looks like a turtle. And he is full of shit.
Which may be the reason that the small paper mache likeness of Mitch, which the Betsies also left on his lawn, was frankly kinda heavy to carry, to hear them tell it. And it smelled, we are told, like a Saint Bernard’s dingleberry encrusted ass–as though someone had perversedly saved up an entire week’s worth of their dog’s bowel movements and then spooned it into a hole in the bottom of the paper mache to create a fecal lawn piñata. That looked like a turtle. Or Mitch McConnell. As the case may be.
Or so we’re told. We weren’t there.
Had we been there we would have most certainly admonished those bad, bad Betsies.
Really!–what are we to do with them?
Justice for Cobo
This week when Louisville KY police responded to a call, Corey Boykin, aka Cobo, opened the door. The police did not identify themselves or ask him to put his hands up, 
instead opening fire immediately and without warning. A Betsy dropped this banner this morning. The American gun industry profits off of every gun, every shooting, and the militarization of the police. Melt the guns.
Truth in Advertising
Truth in advertising, courtesy of Betsy Riot.
The Only Silencer America Needs
This country-destroying, violence-mongering, racist POS deatheater can go right ahead and shut the fuck up. And for more information on Mr. LaPierre, please do consult the facelift Betsy Riot gave his web site. www.waynelapierre.com
The Festering Moral Rot at the Core of America
The gun industry is the festering moral rot at the core of America. Gun culture is where racism, misogyny, xenophobia, the police state, and the worst excesses of unbridled capitalism intersect. That is why we at the Betsy Riot do not fuss with the particulars of this or that gun legislation and instead maintain the position FUCK YOUR GUNS and MELT THEM ALL. We want the total destruction of the firearms industry and we want the population and police disarmed. Melt them down.
We call on all betsies to ACT. If you call your representative do not ask them to please support or withdraw from this or that fucked up shit legislation. Tell them to MELT THE FUCKING GUNS. Tell them that we will no longer allow an industry to capitalize on ignorance, fear, and slaughter. Tell your GOP Congressman that he is a FESTERING PUDDLE OF BLOODY GUNLICKING HUMAN SHIT because Jesus H Christ that is exactly what he is and your feel-good high-roader liberal political group’s postcards and petitions do not mean a damned thing to him.
Show up at their offices and front lawns and use EVERY AVAILABLE NONVIOLENT METHOD to demand that these fucking deatheating assholes put the lives in their commmunities above blood money. Stick a sign in their front lawns announcing to their very lovely McMansion neighborhood that a diseased NRA anus lives in this house. STOP PUTTING COMFORT FIRST.
Betsy vs. Betsy
BETSY VS. BETSY
Oligarch Betsy DeVos, Secretary of Education Dismantlement, visited Lincoln, Nebraska last week to survey how the community is caring for its young riffraff. Unable to find a suitable workhouse where the urchins could be put to a profitable task such as picking oakum or pasting labels on Amway bottles, she was forced to dismount from her carriage at one of the city’s public schools, this one with a focus on something called “science,” which Mme DeVos knows must be trampled out if we are to properly train young workers to serve God and Koch.
The Betsy Riot, feeling rather contrary to Mme DeVos’s designs to fuck up the bedrock of a healthy democracy and also not particularly caring for her awful positions on LGBTQIA youth, special needs kids, and sexual assault, stood in the blistering heat to protest the oligarch’s presence, which they suspect was timed to coincide with their oligarch governor’s efforts to establish charter schools in the state. The Betsies were joined by hundreds of other Lincoln residents who value their children and their fine schools more than kleptocracy, one of whom stopped to get a photo (shared here) with the Betsies.
