July 20 is the anniversary of the Aurora, Colorado, gun massacre in the Cinemark Century 16 movie theater, during a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises, when the America-hating, death eating blood suckers of the NRA and the bloody flux-lapping shit wallowers in the U.S. Congress slaughtered by proxy 12 people and injured 70 others after letting a law banning semi-automatic weapons and high capacity magazines lapse in 2004, thereby allowing a mentally disturbed man to purchase them ONLINE.
We’ve uploaded a new sticker commemorating the Aurora massacre to our Betsy Printables Dropbox folder. It is formatted for Avery 5163 labels, available at office supply stores.
Feel free to go see a movie tomorrow. If you see anything interesting, be sure to take a photo of it and send it to us.
Here are the direct links to the .pdf of these stickers:
The Senate’s Fuck America Healthcare Bill is dead, at least until our “leaders” cook up another grotesque way to feast on the pain and suffering of Americans. Nebraska Betsy wanted to remind Senator Deb Fischer’s constituents that if they manage to keep their healthcare it’s no thanks to the gruesome appetites of Senator Fischer, who has never met a non-millionaire constituent whose blood she doesn’t want to suck into her ghastly gullet. Betsy dropped this banner over a popular jogging path.
After pushing school-to-prison pipeline policies, defunding education, yanking anti-poverty measures, pathologically fixating on the canard of the “welfare queen,” obliterating all corporate responsibility from gun manufacturing and selling, spreading guns everywhere, and removing the city’s rights to pass their own gun regulations, there is nothing the American white wing loves to do more than hold mutual masturbation sessions about CHICAGO, wanking each others’ sad wrinkled chodes over the misfortunes of a city they hate because it’s liberal, largely black, and racked by gun violence, never acknowledging the much higher per capita gun murder rates of other American cities or their own deatheating corporate whore party’s contributions to what problems do exist in the City of the Big Shoulders.
No, Wayne Lapierre told them that it’s all about liberals, black people, and gun control, and that’s enough for these lead-addled barrel-fellators to turn Chicago into their favorite punching bag. And now they have elected the NRA’s favorite sack of putrid farts as president, who is obliquely threatening to send in “the feds” to clamp down on the city…because martial law is so small government.
This may be Betsy’s favorite action yet.
Imagine you are Nebraska’s Governor Pete Ricketts. After a hard legislative session, in which you bought seats in the legislature using your personal wealth and slashed funding to the elderly and disabled children, you go on a feel-good tour through the deep red part of the state, where the very people you fuck over every day will come out to heil you because you make them feel really special for being white even as their disabled kidsget no more services because of you and their elderly parents will have to be moved to a home six hours away.
You’ve learned to keep a low profile in the urban areas because you never know when Betsy will humiliate you over dinner or scare you with mean words on aprons outside your office. But McCook, Nebraska? McCook, population 7,000 and hours and hours from the nearest town big enough for a parking garage? You’ll be safe there, you think to yourself as you pull the wings off a butterfly for fun.
But wait, what’s this you see upon leaving your sausagewank? It’s the BETSY RIOT. In McCook, Nebraska, standing up to say FUCK FASCISM in smalltown Trump Country. She has found you, you piece of sadistic oligarch shit. Big Betsy is watching.
Betsy has always had a soft spot in her heart for John Lott, the NRA’s pet “researcher,” author, and fulltime anal fissure whose fraudulent and completely debunked “studies” are used to push guns in every walk of American life. In fact, one of Betsy’s favorite actions was when multiple Betsies ruined his day by standing up during one of his public talks to call him out for the noxious carbuncle on America’s ass that he is.
So imagine Betsy’s delight when she discovered that dear Mr. Lott had allowed his web domain registration to expire. Oh, no. Heavens to us. Mr. Lott shall be displeased.
How do shithead politicians reconcile their poor-hating, gun-pushing, immigrant-targeting policies with the Christian religion, which worships an impoverished middle eastern refugee baby who grew up to advocate nonviolent socialist ideals?
Christianist hate churches, that’s how. In every state in this country where policy makers are fucking the poor, the brown, and the vulnerable, they are being applauded and empowered by pastors and congregations that teach them that God himself sanctions stomping a jackboot on the most needy among us.
Christianist hate churches are the ideological motors of the far right. They are where the most disgusting impulses in our country receive social and “divine” validation.
Case in point: Berean Church of Nebraska is a megachurch whose congregation includes a roster of jackboots propping themselves up on a Bible. Most recently, congregant Doug Peterson, Attorney General of the State of Nebraska, co-signed a letter asking Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III to make it easier to deport Dreamers—he literally worships an immigrant on Sundays and wants help from Trump to bust up immigrant families on Mondays.
Fuck that piece of shit.
Nebraska Betsies held a demonstration in front of the church yesterday morning, where the congregation gaped, gasped, and offered up the single-finger Berean Salute as they rolled into church. At one point church security—which is armed at Berean—tried to intimidate the Betsies by driving by at a crawl wearing a doucheketeer bluetooth earpiece and filming them as closely as possible for later wanking in the church situation room.
Don Young is a cankered penis who has been fucking his home state of Alaska in Congress since 1973. Besides holding predictable positions on government enforced pregnancy and the assignation of thousands of his constituents to death by medical neglect and penury, this fetid chode actively wants to open up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to permanent fucking by the oil industry. You know, because #prolife. So Alaska Betsy has taken to improving this cheese-dribbler’s campaign signs and encourages fellow residents of the Last Frontier to keep a marker handy and add their own improvements.
Betsy Rioters in Nebraska placed a sign in front of the home of Nebraska Secretary of State John “Goose-Step” Gale, who is all too eager to hand over Nebraska voter information to the widely disdained and fraudulent Pence-Kobach commission in their pursuit to make Russia’s job at hacking and controlling our democratic voting system that much easier. Fuck Goose-Step Gale and fuck the unending degradation of our democracy by the fascist imbeciles of the Kremlin Klan.