There is something in October sets the Betsy blood astir;
We must rise and follow her,
When from every hill of flame
She calls out every fascist fuck by name.
While the alt-right vulture politicians of Nebraska suited up for their weekly display of faux-godliness, OMAHA Betsy said “Let there be banners” and there were banners. And Omahans saw the banners, and saw that they were good.
~ Betsy 09:03
TL;DR: The Cheeto-hued One and his minions are fascist pieces of shit.
IOWA CITY, IA… YOUNG MEN YELL AT CLOUDS
Betsy got a heads up that the “Iowa Libertarian Party” planned a playdate! They are SO MAD YOU GUYS about socialists, and socialism, and VENEZUELA and roads and shit.
Iowa Betsy informs us that the LP dudes assembled at Scooter’s mom’s house for their Libertarian Exceptionalism Book Club meeting (week 45, “Atlas Shrugged”, AGAIN). Then that scrappy band of Izod wearing original thinkers who are impossible to pigeonhole because they are so unique and individualistic when they parrot right wing narcissism masquerading as ideology grabbed their Doritos and Gadsdens, piled into Biff’s Prius, and drove (ON PUBLIC ROADS!!!! THAT. ARE. NOT. PRIVATE.) over to the chosen venue at the appointed hour.
The venue? A park.
A park named “City Park”
In the city of Iowa City.
Give that a minute.
Unbeknownst to the khaki trousered LPers, Betsy had done a recce and prepared her patented Welcome Wagon for them.
You know what actually sucks? #CognitiveDissonanceSucks
HAIL MINNESOTA BETSIES!!!
As the dog days of summer wind down, Betsy decided she could not miss the opportunity to visit the supersized Minnesota State Fair, where over 100,000 folks PER DAY will enjoy some family time and funnel cake, along with Betsy’s thoughts on the current state of this here union. We think these Betsies did a bang-up job and made their feelings clear. Like Crystal (<<see what we did there??).
When Betsy departed the fairgrounds she helped Saint Paul and Zumbrota get in on the sweet Betsy action, too.
L’Étoile du Nord, meet L’Étoile de Betsy!