How To Be a Betsy – Chapter 5
Part 5 of the instructional video series “How to Be a Betsy”, a Betsy Riot production.
In this episode: we learn how to create a homemade Betsy Banger tool for stapling “bandit signs” high up on telephone poles out of the reach of the angry, pundenda-scented, groping little hands of gunlicker Trumpizoids who might be compelled to rip them down in man-tearful, outraged hissyfits. All of the materials can be purchased at your local home improvement retail store–like, um, 84 Lumber, should one be near you.
NOTE: Bandit signs are more typically used by fast-buck real estate agents to exploit poor people. As such, they are considered a public nuisance by many communities. Be conscious of the laws in your area. Penalties vary. But so does the give-a-shit factor of code enforcers.
Fuck Your Fetus Fetish
If you’re enjoying SB#51 you’ll see an ad for The Handmaid’s Tale, a new series based on Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel, soon to be aired as a televised series. Having read the book, Betsy knows that life under the Trump/Pence regime is looking awfully fucking familiar – and she is NOT lying down for it.
Behold Betsy, somewhere in Illinois, recently COUNTER-PROTESTING a group of ignorant hypocritical theocratic morality-preaching fetus fetishists hoping to defund Planned Parenthood and restrict women’s reproductive rights.
Well fuck that.
Betsy, as is her wont, made quite the spectacle of herself, with her Handmaid regalia, nasty signage, and all around disruption of their UnplannedParenthoodParty. As a parting shot Betsy led a rousing chorus of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” sung at full volume and quite probably interfering with the harping hypocritical man of the sackcloth leading the FetusFest™. OOPS!
The picture here is just a preview. Betsy had a more graphic image for those zygote zealots, one that would likely offend the myopic trolls who watch everything we do here on Facebook– hoping to mass report our indelicate language and graphic images that tell the TRUTH, while having a fap in their mom’s basements across the land.
For the full impact of Betsy’s signage, click over to our tweet at https://twitter.com/betsyriot/status/828393811340574722
Or go here and read about Gerri Santoro.
The Heartland Resists
THE HEARTLAND RESISTS.
Last night in Lincoln, Nebraska, a riot of 15 betsies took to the streets of downtown in response to Senators Ben Sasse’s and Deb Fischer’s pathetic licking of Trump’s boot. Nebraska senators are dutiful fascists fucking over Nebraska children by helping Trump to destroy public education for corporate gain and by remaining silent or issuing simpering lukewarm statements on Trump’s executive actions to oppress immigrants and refugees.
One of the Lincoln Betsies said: “Look how quickly the ‘Never Trump’ Ben Sasse has lined up to genuflect to his master. We gathered to condemn the disgusting moral cowardice and fascist cooperation of both Sasse and Fischer. History does not look kindly on fascist toadies, and the fact that Sasse led a Nebraska university and Fischer’s mother was a teacher makes their approval of DeVos all the more pathetic and outrageous.”
“Misandrist Cunts”
ATTENTION BETSIES!!!!!!!
Watch our first live on-camera interview wherein Betsy gives this two-bit Infowars wannabe cub reporter the 411.
Listen with glee as Betsy stymies her interviewer with her response to the question “Do you subscribe to the whole Love Trumps Hate mantra?”
Lastly, make sure to check out the comment from one “Glenn Zamarov” weighing in from his mom’s basement in Fapperville, New Jersey, whose only rejoinder to our awesomeness is “Misandrist cunts”.
We’ll be at #WomensMarch sites all over the country today with nasty signs and widow’s weeds — JOIN US!
[Here’s your BetsyRiot starter pack: https://www.dropbox.com/…/82sax9…/AAAF8opoylab8PxSYsZA-Poya… ]
Call To Action
Yesterday was MLK Day and in a few days this country is swearing in a literal fucking fascist president with a white supremacist cabinet. Are you ready to start fucking this shit up? Are you ready to be a betsy?
We are calling on YOU to do any number of the following this week.
1. MARCH. Wear all black. Get black veiling from the craft store to cover your face. Walk with Betsy signs in your local women’s march. If you live in a red state, this is extremely powerful. Let them know Betsy is in town. Make your own Betsy signs or print some from here:
https://www.dropbox.com/…/kt1emp…/AAARDpwsW3u1JYhnBFva6X0Sa…
Our only requirement is that your signs are absolutely not fucking nice. None of this highroad bullshit. Call that fascist out for what he is.
2. HANG A BANNER. Make a banner using a cheap shower curtain and duct tape and hang it with zip ties in your city. Be rude. Be a resister. Also, be sure not to endanger drivers. We have a how-to video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch…
3. FLYER THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR TOWN, PREFERABLY WITH A BETSYBANGER. We have printable signs galore. Print them out and put them everywhere. Even better: make yourself a Betsy banger and whack them on telephone poles. If you laminate them they may last longer than Il Douche’s fascist regime. Remember that this is possibly illegal so be sure you are careful.
How to make a Betsy Banger here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch…
Then send us photos, videos, etc.! Get out there and save our country, betsies.
