Happy Easter, one and all

You know how the United States is overrun by assholes who simultaneously espouse the most disgusting anti-poor, pro-death, pro-gun fuckery AND thump Bibles and listen to shitty Christian rock? Betsy is fed up with churches that reassure greaseturds that their Savior rejoices in public policy that degrades women and promotes poverty, misery, and white nationalism. So she has been seeking out these hives, going straight to the churches to ask parishioners how in the holy fuck they reconcile the teachings of a poor socialist pacifist Middle Eastern refugee with the endless tsunami of moral diarrhea issuing forth from the mouths of evangelical megachurch ministers.

This week her target was Berean Church of Lincoln, Nebraska, home to some of the state’s worst politicians. The church itself employs armed security guards–because whose skull would Jesus blow open?–and has even sent people to the state legislature to ask the government to allow more guns in church.

So Betsies put on their Easter dresses and began festooning the thousands of twatmobiles in the parking lot with this leaflet when a group of the church’s notorious security emerged a wee bit upset at the Betsies, and also likely feeling out of sorts due to the doucheketeer black jacket/jeans/brown shoe fuckknuckle combo that, along with concealed handguns, appear to be standard issue.

These testosterone-addled shartsnufflers proceeded to follow the betsies both on foot and by Ford F-onefitty for over a mile before the betsies lost them. Nothing intimidates a phony cross wagging NRA chode like some ladies with paper. Happy Easter, one and all.

Download the Bible Quiz

Attention, Betsies! We have made the Omaha flyer downloadable so that you can insert your own local pro-birth, deatheating GOP legislator’s name into it and distribute in such a way that it elicits steamy, brothy man tears for your recreational imbibing.

This version is in Word:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/pqhv5zuecr2fn3x/BIBLE%20QUIZ.docx…

To make it look like the Omaha flyer you will need to download the font called Another Typewriter, available for free here:

https://www.urbanfonts.com/fonts/Another_Typewriter.htm

However, if you would just like a PDF that simply calls out the whole rancid jizzwad of the Republican Party, you can download this ready-to-print PDF:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/hnbs0jrzwqmyeww/Bible%20Quiz.pdf…

These make EXCELLENT windshield warmers at gun-pushing pro-death churches. Be warned that local statutes vary and if you place these on a megachurchgoer’s F-one-fitty adorned with a “we don’t call 911” bumper sticker, the fragile gunhumper may indeed call 911 and soil himself and you may receive a littering citation which you may add to your scrapbook to show your grandkids.

Betsy Flyers,
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A Tall Glass of Hot Creamy Man Tears

Betsies in Nebraska are sitting back and enjoying a tall glass of hot creamy man tears after an entire congregation of ethically impaired trumpsterbuckets shit their pants because some Betsy violated their safe space by putting super mean and true **paper flyers** on their windshields. Poor snowflakes!

Here’s the statement a Nebraska Betsy gave the reporter when the reporter asked why Betsy Riot chose rightwing churches as the target of their flyers:

“These legislators control policy at the federal and state levels. Their policies lead to the death and suffering of immigrant kids and refugees. They are inhumane, craven deatheaters who build profit and political careers off of inflicting misery on the most vulnerable people among us, the people who most need our compassion and help. How do they get away with this? They go to churches every Sunday that gift them with the veneer of piety and respectability, that let them preen themselves as God-fearing servants of Christ. In fact, they are violating the most basic moral tenets and their churches are providing them cover. 

Betsy Riot is about the difference between being polite and doing good. We don’t give a rat’s ass if those churchgoers think we are rude while they sit in their Sunday best lending religious credibility to men who crush children fleeing from war.”

And P.S., Congressman Don Bacon: walking on water is the least significant difference between you and the savior you profess to follow. Start with the fundamental flaw in your moral compass, you piece of shit.

#HeFeltLikeHeWasOffended

http://fox42kptm.com/…/unusual-flyers-placed-on-cars-target…

Pro-Death Pete

Betsies in Omaha, Nebraska, printed flyers condemning the immoral nutsackery of their elected officials, including Governor Pete Ricketts, who so loves executing people that he overrode his state legislature on the matter and illegally imported execution drugs, all while flaunting his “pro life” Catholicism, and Congressman Don Bacon, who, like most bootlicking Trumpster fires, claims to be “pro life” and thumps a Bible while pushing guns everywhere and consigning poor children to death. Fuck those hypocritical deathslurping twatloogies. The Betsies visited these esteemed statesmen’s complicit congregations on Sunday, tucking a flyer onto every windshield in sight.

KKKeebler Elf

Another printable flyer sent to us by a Betsy. Available for download here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/qgb8fnl2px…/kkkeeblerelfflyer.pdf…

GOP = KKKGB

Our new flyer on lying sack of shit white supremacist Jefferson Beauregard Sessions can be printed, dropped, stapled, or taped wherever whitewing treasonous fuckery needs calling out, which is everywhere.
Downloadable PDF here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/1jpxccdogi2tj7p/KKKGB.pdf?dl=0

Rapid City Betsy

South Dakota Betsy helped let folks in Rapid City know they’re represented by a neo-nazi.

No on Nebraska LB68

The mayors of Nebraska towns converged on a historic hotel in downtown Lincoln yesterday, so Betsy greeted them with some flyers.

Betsy Spreads the Truth

Delaware County Republican Party Headquarters

Media, Pennsylvania

For Brishell

For Brishell

We want to let you know what Betsies around the country are doing today.

First, some background:

This is Brishell Jones. She was a lovely 16-year-old girl who should be turning 23 today. In 2010 she was being homeschooled and wanted to be a chef. She was treasured by her mother and father. On March 30 that year, she had gone to dinner with friends after the funeral of another kid who had been murdered. Afterward, as they were standing outside, Brishell and her friends were mowed down by an AK-47.

Behind this and every one of the millions of fucking American shootings over the years certain actors unfailingly make bank. The manufacturer who made the gun made a legal profit. The gun dealer who first sold the gun made a legal profit. The ammunition maker got his blood money and the retailers who stock the shelves got theirs. Big murder is big money, and that is why our laws allow girls like Brishell to be treated like disposable goods. Fuck that fucking shit. If you buy or sell guns you are feeding this fucked up bullshit and you can fucking go to hell.

So today Betsies around the U.S. are going to gun stores and gun-pushing retailers with the photos of Brishell’s autopsy that her mother wants the world to see. The Betsies are placing them strategically where guns and gun porn are sold so that FOR ONCE the fuckers who make money off this atrocity and the mindless gunlicking fuckwits who support them will face just a glimpse of the reality they have caused.