GOP Stinks of “Roadkill Anus”

Oh, dear. Somebetsy in California left some perfumed literature all over a hotel area where the KKKGB aka the Republican Party was meeting. We hear that the deatheaters were forced to raise toasts to their treasonous takeover of our country and abject toady servitude to Il Douche while the stank of “roadkill anus” lingered in the air.

Jeff “Fuckface” Fortenberry – Part Deux

The Nebraska Betsies have proven so successful at getting in the face of “family values” congressmen who hypocritically support a national agenda of pussy grabbing, breaking up immigrant families, taking away the healthcare of millions, ruining public education, treasonously embracing Russian totalitarianism as a way of life, and enriching billionaires on the backs of the poor–along with countless other anti-neighborly, safety-destroying fascist policies–that this US SENATOR and US REP, both of whom were riled by Betsy Riot protests in their home state in the last week, have been driven to create a Betsy Riot Victim Support Group for Whiny Snowflake Politicians with Hurt Feewings.

ACTUAL PHONE CALL TRANSCRIPT (seriously): “Hello, Rep. Jeff Fortenberry? It’s Sen. Ben Sasse. Listen, man, I’ve been where you’re at. I know you’re hurting. I just want you to know I’m here for you. Those Betsies with those signs and masks and all that nasty talk and stuff–whoooooweeee, they’re mean! Just let the mantears flow, brother. There’s no shame. Let’s get together sometime and talk about it. I’ll bring the coffee and donuts. You bring the Russian vodka, Klan hoods and Holy Bibles with all the parts about polygamy, slavery, and incest underlined.”

You cowardly fuckfaces. If you want to support fascism and oppress women and ruin families and destroy lives, at least have the strength of character to force your simpering balls back down from the recesses of your body cavities and face the public anger your actions generate.

Or maybe you could just do the right thing.

Congratulations to the Nebraska Betsies once again!

Jeff “Fuckface” Fortenberry

Oh, those Nebraska Betsies! Sigh. What ever shall we do with you?

As seen in the yard of Nebraska Congressman Jeff “Fuckface” Fortenberry, a member of the Grabbers of Pussy (GOP) party and a laughably hypocritical, toadie anus-mouth for the flatulent, America-hating, Russian smegma-ingesting, incest-advocating fascist Trump Regime.

Or so they tell us.

California Betsy

Photographer Joe Dusel got this photo of the Betsy Riot outside of Congressman Douchebarrel Darrel Issa’s California office today. Issa voted to fuck over his constituents by voting for Trumpcare, and the California Betsies came to remind him what a gun-pushing, death-eating piece of shit he is.

Betsy and Ben

What happens when U.S. Senator Ben “Never Trump” Sasse, who it turns out from his voting record is actually U.S. Senator Ben “Always Trump” Sasse, turns the Lincoln, Nebraska marathon into a pathetic campaign opportunity for his inevitable 2020 presidential run? Betsy shows up.

Sen Ben Sasse, in gray shirt, politicizing the marathon. With Betsy Riot.

Posted by Craig Roper on Sunday, May 7, 2017

Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum

Today Nebraska’s Governor Pete Deatheater Ricketts signed into law a bill that will help women with dense breast tissue be accurately diagnosed if they have breast cancer. Sounds great, right? It is. Except meanwhile the piece of shit governor is trying to close clinics that serve poor women and children in order to give his wealthy friends tax cuts. So Betsy dressed as handmaids from Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale and haunted his press conference. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

A Weekend of Mantears

In Atlanta this weekend, the National Rifle Association will be holding its annual jizz-fest of blood merchants and their frightened, gullible gunlicker consumer base. There, within a convention hall-cum-armory, they will spew anti-American, anti-democracy hate while bizarrely telling themselves they are being patriots, after which they will fritter away their children’s lunch money and/or college fund (depending on their eraser-smudged SAT scores) for death-oriented, but apparently dick-hardening merchandise while outside in the real world, all across America, thousands of lives will be continue to be lost because of an immoral, out-of-control, shittily-regulated, democracy-hating war industry championed by the NRAssholes.

Sounds fun! We think we’ll join in!

Betsy Riot, a nonviolent, but modestly rude and profane organization, will be flying an airplane banner above this craven convention of timorous cretins while also circling them with a mobile billboard promoting the fairly dry fact that they are not “good guys with guns” but “frightened boys with a gun fetish.” We cheekily call it our “ground and air” assault. Because Betsy is nothing if she isn’t cheeky.

To the whiny, gunlicker demographic, this constitutes a violent threat. But what can you expect from people who consider honking a horn in traffic or playing rap music too loud or eating skittle while being black or dancing while being gay or throwing popcorn in a movie theater to be life-threatening? What can you expect from nitwits who are so terrified of life that they need to carry slaughter sticks everywhere they go, including whenever they have a hankering to buy cookies?

We need to remember to bring our umbrellas. The forecast calls for a mantear downpour.

#NRAAM2017 #BetsyRiot #NRA #FuckTheNRA

Good Friday Bible Quiz

A Nebraska Betsy celebrated Good Friday by reminding the parishioners of a rightwing church that their death-penalty-pushing governor, Pete Ricketts, is an insult to the teachings of their savior. While the congregation reflected on the suffering and death of Jesus, their governor had illegally imported execution drugs and personally bankrolled a ballot initiative to get the death penalty back in the state.

Betsy Goes to the Zoo

Nebraska’s deatheater governor Pete Ricketts, who has never met a pipeline or lethal injection he didn’t like nor a public resource he does not want to fuck back into the middle ages, was bafflingly invited to speak at a ceremony for a children’s zoo today. So some Nebraska Betsies decorated a couple hundred chairs at the venue for the occasion.