Campus Carry in Kansas

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Today is the day that the law allowing unregulated concealed carry at Kansas colleges and universities goes into effect. Students and anyone else may now legally carry loaded handguns into classrooms with no training or licensing–not that training or licensing would even make that flaming horseshit okay.

Campus carry is fundamentally about two things. 1) It expands the gun market by removing that pesky four-year no-guns period between having rifles at your parents’ house and having rifles at your own house, which keeps little gunlicker chodes loyal lifelong customers even while away from home. 2) It allows feculent red state shitbag legislators to make over oases of liberality and learning into the benighted feudal cesspools where they feel comfortable.

So today Kansas betsies protested the NRA fucking over their campuses with some beautiful signage and a helpful note on the doorstep of the chancellor of the KU system, reminding her that she rolled over for this bullshit.

Betsy Goes to the Ballgame

by BetsyM Comment Closed

The NCAA World’s Series of Men’s College Baseball is an annual event at the TD Ameritrade Center in Omaha. Two of the teams this year were LSU and Florida. Betsy was there.

Because both Louisiana and Florida have such stellar records in NRA-crafted gun laws that literally encourage gun violence (results don’t lie!); and because Rep. Steve Scalise, the badly injured Congressional baseball practice gunshot victim, has such a robust history of shilling for the NRA–the Nebraska betsies decided the NCAA World Series of Men’s College Baseball might be a good venue to offer helpful reminders about the way the NRA has fucked up our most beloved national pastime.

No, no–we don’t mean baseball. We mean breathing.

(PS: a female police officer showed up and questioned the Nebraska betsies. “We’re national, non-violence, punk patriots and neo-suffragettes! You can find us online!” the betsies told her. “Cool!” said the officer. And then she took a group photo for them.)

Betsy Goes to Church

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Never say that San Diego, California, Betsy isn’t spiritual. She went to church this weekend.

San Diego’s “City View” is a money-grubbing Hate-and-Homophobia Glory Hole posing as a Christian megachurch led by a jizz-drooling, repressed fuck face named Pastor Troy. Pastor Troy and his septic tank of faith decided to host a hate-mongering torture symposium that mocked the teachings of Christ and reveled in the various ways that you can make money tormenting young LGBTQ people who are struggling with their identities by telling them they are abnormal and unwanted by nature and should hate themselves, give money to a megachurch in thanks for that info, and maybe even become a sideshow attraction in the lucrative conversion therapy circus.

“Conversion therapy” is a hateful criminal enterprise that has been outlawed in California. But no one ever said you couldn’t still make money promoting the ideas behind it. And that’s what Pastor Troy and City View decided to do.

So San Diego Betsy decided to march down there, join the larger protest, and give those hate-worshipping charlatans and Christ mockers a piece of her fucking mind.

Hey, kids! It’s time for a singalong! Sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy! Ready?!

A one, and a two, and a–

https://www.facebook.com/betsyriot/videos/1863563833970412/

Betsy Goes Thrifting

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Wisconsin Betsy was having her carpet cleaned back at her apartment, and so with time on her hands, she ambled down to her local thrift store to while away the hours. There, something caused her to suddenly remember that tomorrow night, prime time TV’s Megyn Kelly was providing a national forum to–and thereby facilitating the normalization of–gunlicking psychopathic Sandy Hook hoaxer, deadbeat dad, racist, misogynist, fascist Apoplexy Foundation poster child, Trump advisor and human fecal implant Alex Jones.

Unfortunately–or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint–Betsy then discovered to her great surprise that she had a Sharpie in her hand!

And then she encountered Ducky Dynasty and Call of Duty tee shirts, and claptrap not just by Megan Kelly, but by Palin, Huckabee, and some ambiguously encrusted douche nozzle libertarian dude.

A word to promoters of Duck Dynasty swag: in the future, try not to design tee shirts that look like comic strip panels.

Piss on Yer Guns – The Second Installment

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Attention, Betsy USA! A particularly diabolical betsy in Texas has devised a DELICIOUS plan for pranking the gun lobby and harvesting gallons of refreshing gunlicker man tears. Totally nonviolent (of course) and 100% legal (unlike the things Wayne LaPierre does with his mom). She has designed and is selling this beautiful “piss on yer guns” line of products to fund the plan. Please throw some cash in her direction and sit tight–if she gets the money she needs (where is George Soros when you need him?) we will be spreading the fruits of her labor far and wide. Any funds raised in excess will go toward other Betsy actions.

We love this pride version, especially as the anniversary of Orlando Pulse approaches and our shitwit Congress enjoyed another year of NRA kickback, but a regular black and white version is also available (posted in comments below).

https://teespring.com/new-piss-on-yer-guns-2…

The Neo-Suffragist Punk Patriot Resistance

by BetsyM Comment Closed

The country won’t be saved with internet petitions and solidarity picnics. Find a few friends ready to stand against misogynist gunlicking white supremacist planet-killing kleptocracy. Then drop us a line at betsyriot@gmail.com.

Truth in Advertising

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Breaking! Hot off the Betsy Riot Press!

Have you heard about this shit in Springfield, Nebraska? It’s like a Trumpstertrash turducken: an inner core of rampant racism stuffed inside some sexism nested within a layer of transphobia.

Yesterday a little Hispanic girl from Omaha, Nebraska, went with her soccer team to nearby R̶a̶c̶i̶s̶t̶f̶u̶c̶k̶s̶v̶i̶l̶l̶e̶ Springfield to play in a soccer tournament. But the authorities at the Springfield Soccer Club turned away the entire Azzuri Cachorros girls’ team because the racist sexist gendernormative assholes claimed that the little girl, who dared to have short hair, was a boy.

No protestations to the contrary or even a health insurance card produced by her father could persuade them otherwise, and they disqualified the entire team.

That’s right: adults members of the species homo sapiens living in your country in 2017 actually disqualified an entire team for racist reasons that they somehow thought would be more palatable if they pretended they really had sexist/transphobic reasons to bully an 8-year-old girl who was fixing to kick the asses of their children on the soccer field.

So tonight the Betsy Riot visited the soccer facility in Springfield and helped them with a little truth in advertising.

Join the Feminist Punk Patriot Resistance!

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Is Betsy in YOUR state? Of course she is. She’s YOU.

You’ve called. You’ve emailed. You’ve marched. Now it’s time to fuck this fascist shit up. Grab a few of your friends and drop us a line. We are the anonymous nonviolent grassroots feminist resistance. We’ll help you set up a riot in your hometown.

Betsy Goes to Murder Prom

by BetsyM Comment Closed

Every year hundreds of gunlicking death fetishists come together (pun intended) at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration at San Diego’s Hotel del Coronado. We imagine the patriots in attendance have an unspoken “what happens at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration stays at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration” agreement with their mildewed blow-up dolls, resulting in a weekend of orgiastic ecstasy as they fondle OPP (Other Patriots’ Pistols) and slobber over products designed to help them kill people. The gallery hall is full of This grotesque jizzfest of toxic masculinity and homicide worship that it is known locally as MURDER PROM.

San Diego Betsy was not invited to Murder Prom, but that didn’t stop her from dropping by.