Betsy Goes to Church

Never say that San Diego, California, Betsy isn’t spiritual. She went to church this weekend.

San Diego’s “City View” is a money-grubbing Hate-and-Homophobia Glory Hole posing as a Christian megachurch led by a jizz-drooling, repressed fuck face named Pastor Troy. Pastor Troy and his septic tank of faith decided to host a hate-mongering torture symposium that mocked the teachings of Christ and reveled in the various ways that you can make money tormenting young LGBTQ people who are struggling with their identities by telling them they are abnormal and unwanted by nature and should hate themselves, give money to a megachurch in thanks for that info, and maybe even become a sideshow attraction in the lucrative conversion therapy circus.

“Conversion therapy” is a hateful criminal enterprise that has been outlawed in California. But no one ever said you couldn’t still make money promoting the ideas behind it. And that’s what Pastor Troy and City View decided to do.

So San Diego Betsy decided to march down there, join the larger protest, and give those hate-worshipping charlatans and Christ mockers a piece of her fucking mind.

Hey, kids! It’s time for a singalong! Sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy! Ready?!

A one, and a two, and a–

https://www.facebook.com/betsyriot/videos/1863563833970412/

Betsy Goes Thrifting

Wisconsin Betsy was having her carpet cleaned back at her apartment, and so with time on her hands, she ambled down to her local thrift store to while away the hours. There, something caused her to suddenly remember that tomorrow night, prime time TV’s Megyn Kelly was providing a national forum to–and thereby facilitating the normalization of–gunlicking psychopathic Sandy Hook hoaxer, deadbeat dad, racist, misogynist, fascist Apoplexy Foundation poster child, Trump advisor and human fecal implant Alex Jones.

Unfortunately–or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint–Betsy then discovered to her great surprise that she had a Sharpie in her hand!

And then she encountered Ducky Dynasty and Call of Duty tee shirts, and claptrap not just by Megan Kelly, but by Palin, Huckabee, and some ambiguously encrusted douche nozzle libertarian dude.

A word to promoters of Duck Dynasty swag: in the future, try not to design tee shirts that look like comic strip panels.

Piss on Yer Guns – The Second Installment

Attention, Betsy USA! A particularly diabolical betsy in Texas has devised a DELICIOUS plan for pranking the gun lobby and harvesting gallons of refreshing gunlicker man tears. Totally nonviolent (of course) and 100% legal (unlike the things Wayne LaPierre does with his mom). She has designed and is selling this beautiful “piss on yer guns” line of products to fund the plan. Please throw some cash in her direction and sit tight–if she gets the money she needs (where is George Soros when you need him?) we will be spreading the fruits of her labor far and wide. Any funds raised in excess will go toward other Betsy actions.

We love this pride version, especially as the anniversary of Orlando Pulse approaches and our shitwit Congress enjoyed another year of NRA kickback, but a regular black and white version is also available (posted in comments below).

https://teespring.com/new-piss-on-yer-guns-2…

Truth in Advertising

Breaking! Hot off the Betsy Riot Press!

Have you heard about this shit in Springfield, Nebraska? It’s like a Trumpstertrash turducken: an inner core of rampant racism stuffed inside some sexism nested within a layer of transphobia.

Yesterday a little Hispanic girl from Omaha, Nebraska, went with her soccer team to nearby R̶a̶c̶i̶s̶t̶f̶u̶c̶k̶s̶v̶i̶l̶l̶e̶ Springfield to play in a soccer tournament. But the authorities at the Springfield Soccer Club turned away the entire Azzuri Cachorros girls’ team because the racist sexist gendernormative assholes claimed that the little girl, who dared to have short hair, was a boy.

No protestations to the contrary or even a health insurance card produced by her father could persuade them otherwise, and they disqualified the entire team.

That’s right: adults members of the species homo sapiens living in your country in 2017 actually disqualified an entire team for racist reasons that they somehow thought would be more palatable if they pretended they really had sexist/transphobic reasons to bully an 8-year-old girl who was fixing to kick the asses of their children on the soccer field.

So tonight the Betsy Riot visited the soccer facility in Springfield and helped them with a little truth in advertising.

Join the Feminist Punk Patriot Resistance!

Is Betsy in YOUR state? Of course she is. She’s YOU.

You’ve called. You’ve emailed. You’ve marched. Now it’s time to fuck this fascist shit up. Grab a few of your friends and drop us a line. We are the anonymous nonviolent grassroots feminist resistance. We’ll help you set up a riot in your hometown.

Betsy Goes to Murder Prom

Every year hundreds of gunlicking death fetishists come together (pun intended) at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration at San Diego’s Hotel del Coronado. We imagine the patriots in attendance have an unspoken “what happens at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration stays at the San Diego Gun Owners 2nd Amendment Celebration” agreement with their mildewed blow-up dolls, resulting in a weekend of orgiastic ecstasy as they fondle OPP (Other Patriots’ Pistols) and slobber over products designed to help them kill people. The gallery hall is full of This grotesque jizzfest of toxic masculinity and homicide worship that it is known locally as MURDER PROM.

San Diego Betsy was not invited to Murder Prom, but that didn’t stop her from dropping by.

Fuck the NRA

Kansas Betsies baked a special cake to commemorate the wholesale selling of their state to the murder lobby by Gov. Sam “Bloody Hands” Brownback and the simpering, gutless higher ed administrators who cravenly decreed that the permitless carry of guns will now be allowed at all colleges and universities starting this summer.

Betsy Goes to Murder-Con

In late April of 2017, a pussy-grabbing fascist megalomaniac traveled to Atlanta, Georgia, to speak to the brownshirts at the NRA Annual Meeting, that organization having gotten the piece of shit elected leader of the Free World™ (with a little help from their mutual friends in Moscow) and finally calling in a little reacharound.

Hundreds of shartsnuffling chodes wandered the grounds in their NRA lanyards, wrists sore from all the barrel-stroking, when what to their douchey besunglassed eyes did appear but Betsy buzzing from far and from near.

This is her story–set to “The March of the Women,” a 1910 suffragette anthem by Ethel Smyth and Cicely Hamilton.