Oh, hell the fuck no

Kentucky has exactly one remaining abortion clinic. If you own a uterus and live in Kentucky and your boyfriend slips you a roofie or your uncle rapes you or your 20-week ultrasound shows an anencephalic fetus or you just fucking want to not give birth, your choices if Louisville’s EMW Women’s Surgical Center closes will be:

–Shake out your couch cushions for hundreds of dollars in loose change, then steal away from your oppressive family to drive hundreds of miles in the car you may not have to the nearest clinic in another state.

–Gestate the baby and go through hours of painful and expensive labor anyway, none of which will be covered by medical insurance when the GOP takes it away.

–Take a trip to Hobby Lobby for some knitting needles and hope the housekeeping staff at the Motel 6 doesn’t have to phone-in your bled-out body the next day.

Meanwhile, the “pro-life” Gilead Officers Party (GOP) wants you to have no education about how your body works, no affordable birth control, no maternal leave, and no help with food or childcare after you give birth.

Into this context steps Operation Save America, led by a twatnugget named Rusty Thomas, which is probably also what he nicknamed the blotchy dick he wags in front of the long-suffering woman he uses as breeding stock at home, together with whom he runs–and we shit thee not, dear betsies–“Thomas Nation’s University of Righteousness,” a.k.a. his own private child brainwashing compound in his home in Waco, Texas.

Thomas and OSA want to shut down that clinic because, you know, they care so much for babies and shit.

Seriously, these chodestumps have launched a full-on, weeks-long fetalpalooza in downtown Louisville, caravanning their quiverfuls of sisterwives and progeny to try to shut down the clinic, forcing Homeland Security to create a buffer zone and generally turning the entire area into an open-air Zyogote Temple.

So Kentucky Betsies said, “Oh, hell the fuck no” and put on the red veil to counterprotest these wipes.

NO KKK
NO OSA
NO NEO-NAZI USA

Isle of Man Betsies

On the Isle of Man, population 88,000, these five women stood up and stood out against government mandated pregnancy.

If you are ready to be a Betsy drop us a line. You’re fighting for your autonomy, your democracy, your life, and your planet. Leave nice at the door.

betsyriot@gmail.com

Betsy Goes to the Ballgame

The NCAA World’s Series of Men’s College Baseball is an annual event at the TD Ameritrade Center in Omaha. Two of the teams this year were LSU and Florida. Betsy was there.

Because both Louisiana and Florida have such stellar records in NRA-crafted gun laws that literally encourage gun violence (results don’t lie!); and because Rep. Steve Scalise, the badly injured Congressional baseball practice gunshot victim, has such a robust history of shilling for the NRA–the Nebraska betsies decided the NCAA World Series of Men’s College Baseball might be a good venue to offer helpful reminders about the way the NRA has fucked up our most beloved national pastime.

No, no–we don’t mean baseball. We mean breathing.

(PS: a female police officer showed up and questioned the Nebraska betsies. “We’re national, non-violence, punk patriots and neo-suffragettes! You can find us online!” the betsies told her. “Cool!” said the officer. And then she took a group photo for them.)

Betsy Goes to Church

Never say that San Diego, California, Betsy isn’t spiritual. She went to church this weekend.

San Diego’s “City View” is a money-grubbing Hate-and-Homophobia Glory Hole posing as a Christian megachurch led by a jizz-drooling, repressed fuck face named Pastor Troy. Pastor Troy and his septic tank of faith decided to host a hate-mongering torture symposium that mocked the teachings of Christ and reveled in the various ways that you can make money tormenting young LGBTQ people who are struggling with their identities by telling them they are abnormal and unwanted by nature and should hate themselves, give money to a megachurch in thanks for that info, and maybe even become a sideshow attraction in the lucrative conversion therapy circus.

“Conversion therapy” is a hateful criminal enterprise that has been outlawed in California. But no one ever said you couldn’t still make money promoting the ideas behind it. And that’s what Pastor Troy and City View decided to do.

So San Diego Betsy decided to march down there, join the larger protest, and give those hate-worshipping charlatans and Christ mockers a piece of her fucking mind.

Hey, kids! It’s time for a singalong! Sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle Dandy! Ready?!

A one, and a two, and a–

https://www.facebook.com/betsyriot/videos/1863563833970412/

Join the Feminist Punk Patriot Resistance!

Is Betsy in YOUR state? Of course she is. She’s YOU.

You’ve called. You’ve emailed. You’ve marched. Now it’s time to fuck this fascist shit up. Grab a few of your friends and drop us a line. We are the anonymous nonviolent grassroots feminist resistance. We’ll help you set up a riot in your hometown.

Magnificent Bitches Visit Pete Deatheater Ricketts

Magnificent Bitches Visit Pete Deatheater Ricketts

Today, April 26, 2017, Nebraska’s Governor Pete Deatheater Ricketts signed into law a bill that will help women with dense breast tissue be accurately diagnosed if they have breast cancer. Sounds great, right? It is. Except meanwhile the piece of shit governor is trying to close clinics that serve poor women and children in order to give his wealthy friends tax cuts. So Betsy dressed as handmaids from Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale and haunted his press conference.

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Betsy’s Bible Quiz

Parishioners at fascist-enabling churches in U.S. Rep. Steve KKKing’s congressional district in Iowa were reminded via a bible quiz on windshields, doors, and signs that their theology might make them feel like God’s chosen people but it is actually a steaming load of white supremacist horseshit.

Steve King = National Disgrace

Last week, rancid crotch cheese and self-proclaimed “champion for Western civilization,” Iowa Congressman Steve King, made news when, in the context of praising Dutch white supremacist candidate Geert Wilders, he tweeted: “We can’t restore our civilization with someone else’s babies.”

Though KKKing’s tweet shocked many across the nation, it shocked not at all the Iowa Betsies, who have been enduring this kind of racist filth since King was first elected. By their estimation, this had to have been the 1 million-gazillionth-fucktillionth racist discharge to be issued by the badly infected, suppurating buttock chancre that is King’s mouth.

Which, once they thought about it, was a milestone that the Iowa Betsies felt should be recognized. So off they went to Steve King’s hometown of Kiron, cutting a riotous swath of Fuckyouness across the Hawkeye State.

They tacked on a “truth in advertising” addendum to Kiron’s town sign. They declared King’s home a “National Disgrace Site” with a helpful directional sign pointing the way for tourists. And they planted an historic marker on Rep. King’s actual front lawn. …Just in time to swing by his church in Odebolt where they left a helpful reminder to his church’s Nazi-enabling parishioners that fascism, white supremacy, and gun idolatry make the Middle Eastern refugee they claim to worship very very sad.

And then it was home for milk and cookies. And the satisfaction of shit well fucked-up.

Here’s to you, Iowa Betsies! You make the heartland proud!