Magnificent Bitches Visit Pete Deatheater Ricketts

Magnificent Bitches Visit Pete Deatheater Ricketts

Today, April 26, 2017, Nebraska’s Governor Pete Deatheater Ricketts signed into law a bill that will help women with dense breast tissue be accurately diagnosed if they have breast cancer. Sounds great, right? It is. Except meanwhile the piece of shit governor is trying to close clinics that serve poor women and children in order to give his wealthy friends tax cuts. So Betsy dressed as handmaids from Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale and haunted his press conference.

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.

Bill Kintner Prematurely Evacuated

Bill Kintner Prematurely Evacuated

Whatever the fuck is going on in Nebraska, the rest of the resistance take note. There is a riot of ass-kicking betsies that are showing the rest of us how it’s done. If they can do it there, we can do it anywhere.

Yesterday, Nebraska State Senator Bill Kintner, whose many offenses include calling refugees insects, using the term “wetback” on the floor of the legislature, and working his dreary chaffed penis to dismal climax on camera in an international blackmail scheme, finally resigned from his position after unprecedented fucking blowback for a retweet of a photo of the women’s march claiming that some women are too ugly to rape. In his resignation presser he claimed that God had placed him in the legislature.

To celebrate his early departure, Nebraska betsies installed this glorious banner over downtown Lincoln. It says BILL KINTNER PREMATURELY EVACUATED.

Betsies elsewhere, take a page from this playbook!

More on Kintner: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/…/us-politician-bill-kintner-qu…/

Scrotum of Undateables

Scrotum of Undateables

The collective term for a group of Betsies is a “riot of Betsies.” And no one lives up to that term more than our Nebraska Betsies, who are quickly proving themselves to be the most fucking riotous in the fucking country.

The collective term for a fraternity of rape-advocating wannabe pussy-grabbers is a “scrotum of undateables.” On Saturday, a scrotum of undateables outside their pathetic nut sack of a frat house watched the passing Women’s March and, reeking of dirty gym socks and desperate semen, taunted the crowd with chants of “No means YES! No means YES!” The scrotum of undateables also chanted “Grab them by the pussy!” and asked women marchers if their “pussies were blue.” A Trump banner hung from their balcony.

The name of the fraternity is Phi Gamma Delta. They call themselves FIJI (Hahaha! Phi G! Get it, get it?!). One of their proudest fraternity alums is “Brother” Mike Pence.

So it was that a riot of Betsies paid the scrotum of undateables a visit under cloak of night. And here is what the boys woke up to:

Big Pussy Is Watching

Big Pussy Is Watching

Check out this great photo of a Betsy in Omaha yesterday by photographer Mike Machian!

What’s Betsy saying, you ask? Word has it she was pointing to the crowd and saying, “You can be a Betsy, and you can be a Betsy, and you can be a Betsy…!

If you are sick to the death of this fucking shit and are ready to kick the Zeitgeist in its fucking scrotum, you are already Betsy–you just didn’t know it!

Let’s change the culture. Let’s fuck shit up. Be a Betsy, goddammit! Do it NOW!

How? Go check out our page’s video section for tips and examples of our actions. Or go to our website at betsyriot.com and click on “Get Started.”

Do it. Do it now. And thanks to Mike Machian for this inspirational photo ofBetsy!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10208854025410852&set=a.10208854022330775.1073741919.1320726417&type=3&theater

“Misandrist Cunts”

ATTENTION BETSIES!!!!!!!

Watch our first live on-camera interview wherein Betsy gives this two-bit Infowars wannabe cub reporter the 411.

Listen with glee as Betsy stymies her interviewer with her response to the question “Do you subscribe to the whole Love Trumps Hate mantra?”

Lastly, make sure to check out the comment from one “Glenn Zamarov” weighing in from his mom’s basement in Fapperville, New Jersey, whose only rejoinder to our awesomeness is “Misandrist cunts”.

We’ll be at #WomensMarch sites all over the country today with nasty signs and widow’s weeds — JOIN US!

[Here’s your BetsyRiot starter pack: https://www.dropbox.com/…/82sax9…/AAAF8opoylab8PxSYsZA-Poya… ]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayktWuTVU0w

Christina Broom

Christina Broom

This meme depicts Christina Broom, a Scottish housewife in the early 20th Century who, when she reached her 40s, picked up a camera and became the UK’s first female news photographer. Her documentation of the suffragette movement is a legacy whose value cannot be overestimated. We know of the radical fury and persistence of the suffragettes because we can see that it happened. It cannot be denied nor its chronicle rewritten. And largely because Christina Broom took photographs.

So. At any demonstration, of course–but particularly at upcoming Inaugural ones–be sure to take photos and even videos showing your signs with  #BETSYRIOT on them to share on our page!

The pussy-grabbing pathological narcissist about to become president denies and rewrites reality the moment it happens, which means documenting OUR radical fury and persistence has never been more important!

Let’s Betsy the fuck out of this sham event! And return with the photos to prove we did.

Call To Action

Call To Action

Yesterday was MLK Day and in a few days this country is swearing in a literal fucking fascist president with a white supremacist cabinet. Are you ready to start fucking this shit up? Are you ready to be a betsy?

We are calling on YOU to do any number of the following this week.

1. MARCH. Wear all black. Get black veiling from the craft store to cover your face. Walk with Betsy signs in your local women’s march. If you live in a red state, this is extremely powerful. Let them know Betsy is in town. Make your own Betsy signs or print some from here:
https://www.dropbox.com/…/kt1emp…/AAARDpwsW3u1JYhnBFva6X0Sa…

Our only requirement is that your signs are absolutely not fucking nice. None of this highroad bullshit. Call that fascist out for what he is.

2. HANG A BANNER. Make a banner using a cheap shower curtain and duct tape and hang it with zip ties in your city. Be rude. Be a resister. Also, be sure not to endanger drivers. We have a how-to video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch…

3. FLYER THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR TOWN, PREFERABLY WITH A BETSYBANGER. We have printable signs galore. Print them out and put them everywhere. Even better: make yourself a Betsy banger and whack them on telephone poles. If you laminate them they may last longer than Il Douche’s fascist regime. Remember that this is possibly illegal so be sure you are careful.

How to make a Betsy Banger here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch…

Then send us photos, videos, etc.! Get out there and save our country, betsies.

Keep Your Rosaries Off Our Ovaries

Keep Your Rosaries Off Our Ovaries

Check this out. The Nebraska Capitol does not allow signs. So some Nebraska Betsies looked to their suffragist forebears and made APRONS to silently protest their tea-bagger governor Pete Ricketts, who has spent a personal fortune reinstating the death penalty and installing compliant senators in the state’s legislature. The Betsies were immediately kicked out of the press conference by the State Patrol, who insisted that the event was only open to people who had a press ID. However, the Governor’s own web site says that the event was open to the public. 

So the Betsies stood outside his office for hours today under these fabulously inspiring murals depicting freedom of speech and suffrage rights. The governor tried to avoid them, and his security team, who had been watching the Betsies fretfully, finally squirreled him through a labyrinth of offices so he could exit the building with minimal exposure to those dangerous aprons. When the Betsies left the building on foot, they were followed for blocks by a state vehicle with tinted windows. The Nebraska Betsies tell us they will not be intimidated.

The aprons say:
KEEP YOUR ROSARIES OFF OUR OVARIES
DON’T BROWNBACK NEBRASKA
SAVE OUR UNICAM
PRO-DEATH PETE

We can see why the gentleman scurried off in fear.
We at Betsy Riot want to see more protests like this. Make them squirm, Betsies!

Welcome to the Resistance

Welcome to the Resistance

Welcome, new betsies, to the Betsy Riot. We are the decentralized neosuffragette punk patriot resistance to Trumpism and NRA fuckery.

We’ve received lots of questions from people who want to join with us. Here are the basics:

1. We are fighting a regime that is literally fascist. It will only get worse before it gets better. We are therefore anonymous. The cardinal rule is that you never out another Betsy. Are there betsies in your state? Probably, but we won’t tell you who they are even if we know. 

2. Your actions are your own. We sometimes suggest organized actions and individual actions. We make no claims about their legality nor do we have a legal defense fund. You may also get creative and fuck with fascist gun-pushing misogynist white supremacist shitheads in your own ways, and that is cool, too. But remember we don’t have bail money. We know of a few betsies facing criminal citations (misdemeanors, all) and they are doing so wearing their big girl bustles.

3. We do insist you never hurt or endanger another person in our name. We harvest tears, not blood. We believe in goodness, not niceness. Fuck with a bootlicking neo-nazi turdcock and make him cry and whimper for a safe space from your mean words and mockery. It’s actually pretty easy to do all without touching a hair on his well-oiled head.

4. So how do you get started? Well, many betsies get started by plastering soft graffiti on gun porn or Trump obscenities. We have downloadable stickers you can print at home just for such stuff. We would never, ever, EVER suggest that you deface gun porn magazines or Trump bumper stickers or that you come and take anything with “come and take it” on it, because that would be illegal. Similarly, it would be so, so very wrong of us to suggest you start making it not worth it to purveyors of fascist gunhumping bullshit by rendering such wares unsellable, for example by squirting fake blood on them or writing extremely impolite commentary on them in sharpie.

5. If you have friends who are betsies, organize an action. Get creative. Hang a banner. Place your own DIY yard sign in a prominent and amusing locale. Crash a feel-good family photo-op event hosted by your local Trumplicker politician. Wear widows’ weeds and stand quietly with a sign that tells him in florid, delicious prose exactly what he is.

6. Stay tuned. We will post ideas for organized actions that you and your friends can perform if you wish. Let’s fuck this shit up.