A Weekend of Mantears

In Atlanta this weekend, the National Rifle Association will be holding its annual jizz-fest of blood merchants and their frightened, gullible gunlicker consumer base. There, within a convention hall-cum-armory, they will spew anti-American, anti-democracy hate while bizarrely telling themselves they are being patriots, after which they will fritter away their children’s lunch money and/or college fund (depending on their eraser-smudged SAT scores) for death-oriented, but apparently dick-hardening merchandise while outside in the real world, all across America, thousands of lives will be continue to be lost because of an immoral, out-of-control, shittily-regulated, democracy-hating war industry championed by the NRAssholes.

Sounds fun! We think we’ll join in!

Betsy Riot, a nonviolent, but modestly rude and profane organization, will be flying an airplane banner above this craven convention of timorous cretins while also circling them with a mobile billboard promoting the fairly dry fact that they are not “good guys with guns” but “frightened boys with a gun fetish.” We cheekily call it our “ground and air” assault. Because Betsy is nothing if she isn’t cheeky.

To the whiny, gunlicker demographic, this constitutes a violent threat. But what can you expect from people who consider honking a horn in traffic or playing rap music too loud or eating skittle while being black or dancing while being gay or throwing popcorn in a movie theater to be life-threatening? What can you expect from nitwits who are so terrified of life that they need to carry slaughter sticks everywhere they go, including whenever they have a hankering to buy cookies?

We need to remember to bring our umbrellas. The forecast calls for a mantear downpour.

#NRAAM2017 #BetsyRiot #NRA #FuckTheNRA

Happy Easter, one and all

You know how the United States is overrun by assholes who simultaneously espouse the most disgusting anti-poor, pro-death, pro-gun fuckery AND thump Bibles and listen to shitty Christian rock? Betsy is fed up with churches that reassure greaseturds that their Savior rejoices in public policy that degrades women and promotes poverty, misery, and white nationalism. So she has been seeking out these hives, going straight to the churches to ask parishioners how in the holy fuck they reconcile the teachings of a poor socialist pacifist Middle Eastern refugee with the endless tsunami of moral diarrhea issuing forth from the mouths of evangelical megachurch ministers.

This week her target was Berean Church of Lincoln, Nebraska, home to some of the state’s worst politicians. The church itself employs armed security guards–because whose skull would Jesus blow open?–and has even sent people to the state legislature to ask the government to allow more guns in church.

So Betsies put on their Easter dresses and began festooning the thousands of twatmobiles in the parking lot with this leaflet when a group of the church’s notorious security emerged a wee bit upset at the Betsies, and also likely feeling out of sorts due to the doucheketeer black jacket/jeans/brown shoe fuckknuckle combo that, along with concealed handguns, appear to be standard issue.

These testosterone-addled shartsnufflers proceeded to follow the betsies both on foot and by Ford F-onefitty for over a mile before the betsies lost them. Nothing intimidates a phony cross wagging NRA chode like some ladies with paper. Happy Easter, one and all.

Good Friday Bible Quiz

A Nebraska Betsy celebrated Good Friday by reminding the parishioners of a rightwing church that their death-penalty-pushing governor, Pete Ricketts, is an insult to the teachings of their savior. While the congregation reflected on the suffering and death of Jesus, their governor had illegally imported execution drugs and personally bankrolled a ballot initiative to get the death penalty back in the state.